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But why male models?
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[Derek sees his reflection in a puddle] Who am I? [the reflection speaks back] I don't know.
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Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us.
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There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."
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Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way"?...
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Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful, I think.
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If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiselled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
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You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.
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Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
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At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.
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I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.
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Mer-man! *keh... keh... keh...* MER-MAN!
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[Cellphone rings] God?
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[Upon seeing the model of the "Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too] What is this, a center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building? The center has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
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SNAP