The Whole Nine Yards quotes

26 total quotes

View Quote Jimmy: You like living in Canada?
Oz: No, I live here with my wife.
Jimmy: I take it you're not Canadian.
Oz: Only by marriage.

View Quote Jimmy: You're a dentist?
Oz: Afraid so.
Jimmy: You suicidal?
Oz: Why would you say that?
Jimmy: Well, I read that dentists are prone to suicide.
Oz: Look, Jimmy, I may hate my life, but I certainly don't want to die.

View Quote Jimmy: [after Oz makes him laugh] You sure you're a dentist?
Oz: Yeah. Why?
Jimmy: Because I've never met a dentist I liked.
Oz: Well, I try to keep things as painless as possible.
Jimmy: Me too.

View Quote Jill: [on the phone, as his wife is driving him to the airport] Are you going alone?
Oz: Yes.
Jill: Good, can you do me a huge favor while you're there? Go out, and get laid.
Oz: Jill! [covers the phone]
Jill: And call me the second you get back. Better yet, call me right after. Call me during! I want all the details!

View Quote Oz: [after Frankie beats a confession out of Oz] I MAY know where he is.
Frankie: Well, all right. But don't tell me. Let's go tell Janni.
Oz: Okay. You mind if I piss a little blood first?
Frankie: Please, by all means.

View Quote Frankie: Aren't you gonna cry out for help?
Oz: Would it do any good?
Frankie: ...No.

View Quote Frankie: You what? You told Jimmy? What the hell did you do that for?
Oz: I felt sorry for him! I like him. Well, I liked him?
Frankie: So you don't like him no more?
Oz: Well, it's a little hard to maintain a friendship with a man who wants to kill you.
Frankie: If you sold my ass out to Janni, then told me about it, I'd want to ice your ass, too!
Oz: I know. [Frankie sucks on his teeth] You know, I can close that gap for you.
Frankie: Really?
Oz: Yeah, you'd be in and out.
Frankie: You're kidding. This thing right here?

View Quote Janni: I vant you to understand, when it comes to Yimmy Tudeski, we're not talking about a human being. We're talking about a rodent! We're talking about wermin! [pause] Where was I?
Oz: Wermin, I think. Wermin.
Janni: We're talking about someone - **** THAT! - some THING that doesn't deserve to be breathing. The AIR!

View Quote Cynthia: Have you vomited recently?
Oz: A minute ago. I was just gonna brush my teeth.
Cynthia: I'll wait.

View Quote Cynthia: Promise me something.
Oz: Anything.
Cynthia: You'll go slow. I haven't made love in five years.
Oz: Neither have I. I've been married.

View Quote Oz: I swear, I am not gonna let anybody kill you.
Cynthia: Under the cir****stances, I think that's probably the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me.
Oz: Thanks.

View Quote Cynthia: But he knows I don't want to be married to him any more, and like I said, he doesn't believe in divorce.
Oz: But murder he's okay with?
Cynthia: It's what he does.

View Quote Oz: All right, maybe he won't come after us. Maybe he'll just let us go. [Cynthia just looks at him] All right, maybe I can talk with him, reason with him. I mean, we're friends now, right?
Cynthia: That's what Harry Lefkowitz thought.
Oz: What happened to Harry Lefkowitz? [Cynthia just looks at him] I don't want to know what happened to Harry Lefkowitz.

View Quote Oz: He sa... he said you guys haven't even met.
Sophie: Who you going to believe? A contract killer or your wife?
Oz: Do I have to answer that?

View Quote Jill: You don't like the Walther?
Jimmy: I think you should go with what you're comfortable with.
Jill: It's what James Bond uses.
Jimmy: Really?
Jill: Yeah.