The Whole Nine Yards quotes

View Quote Cynthia: But he knows I don't want to be married to him any more, and like I said, he doesn't believe in divorce.
Oz: But murder he's okay with?
Cynthia: It's what he does.

View Quote Cynthia: Have you vomited recently?
Oz: A minute ago. I was just gonna brush my teeth.
Cynthia: I'll wait.

View Quote Cynthia: Promise me something.
Oz: Anything.
Cynthia: You'll go slow. I haven't made love in five years.
Oz: Neither have I. I've been married.

View Quote Cynthia: You really meant it, didn't you? What you said?
Oz: About loving you? Of course! What did you think this was all about?
Cynthia: [shrugs] Sex. I mean, GREAT sex...
Oz: [chuckling] It was pretty good... Is that all this has meant to you?
Cynthia: Don't get me wrong, Oz. I like you a lot...
Oz: Well, that's great to hear, but I've got news for you. I don't generally go around risking my life for people who just like me.

View Quote Frankie: Aren't you gonna cry out for help?
Oz: Would it do any good?
Frankie: ...No.

View Quote Frankie: You what? You told Jimmy? What the hell did you do that for?
Oz: I felt sorry for him! I like him. Well, I liked him?
Frankie: So you don't like him no more?
Oz: Well, it's a little hard to maintain a friendship with a man who wants to kill you.
Frankie: If you sold my ass out to Janni, then told me about it, I'd want to ice your ass, too!
Oz: I know. [Frankie sucks on his teeth] You know, I can close that gap for you.
Frankie: Really?
Oz: Yeah, you'd be in and out.
Frankie: You're kidding. This thing right here?

View Quote Janni: Expecting a call?
Cynthia: Explain to me how that's any of your business.

View Quote Janni: I vant you to understand, when it comes to Yimmy Tudeski, we're not talking about a human being. We're talking about a rodent! We're talking about wermin! [pause] Where was I?
Oz: Wermin, I think. Wermin.
Janni: We're talking about someone - **** THAT! - some THING that doesn't deserve to be breathing. The AIR!

View Quote Janni: You know I have this same car?
Oz: Really?
Janni: No.

View Quote Jill: [on the phone, as his wife is driving him to the airport] Are you going alone?
Oz: Yes.
Jill: Good, can you do me a huge favor while you're there? Go out, and get laid.
Oz: Jill! [covers the phone]
Jill: And call me the second you get back. Better yet, call me right after. Call me during! I want all the details!

View Quote Jill: You don't like the Walther?
Jimmy: I think you should go with what you're comfortable with.
Jill: It's what James Bond uses.
Jimmy: Really?
Jill: Yeah.

View Quote Jill: Your wife is not a nice person.
Oz: You're expecting an argument?

View Quote Jimmy: [after Oz makes him laugh] You sure you're a dentist?
Oz: Yeah. Why?
Jimmy: Because I've never met a dentist I liked.
Oz: Well, I try to keep things as painless as possible.
Jimmy: Me too.

View Quote Jimmy: [After Oz tells him he is in love with Cynthia, over the phone] Will you listen to yourself? What are you talkin' about, you love her? You just met her! [to Frankie] He said he's in love with Cynthia!
Frankie: No shit!
Jill: So SHE'S the one!
Jimmy: She's the one what?
Jill: The one he schtupped in Chicago!
Jimmy: The one he... [to Oz] My wife? You shtupped my wife, Oz?
Oz: I wouldn't exactly phrase it that way, exactly...
Jimmy: [with increasing anger] No, no, no! Let me get this straight. You went down to Chicago and engaged in sexual CONGRESS with my wife? Is that it?
Jill: Jimmy, Jimmy, calm down!
Jimmy: [now livid] IS IT? I SWEAR TO GOD...!
[Jill takes the phone from Jimmy]
Oz: [to Cynthia] He's a little upset. I've managed to upset a mass murderer.
Jimmy: TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE! [to Jill] Get him to tell you where the **** he is! [into phone] JUST STAY RIGHT THERE! [Jill takes the phone away] It's a DISGRACE...
Jill: [into phone] Oz, you stud, you!
Frankie: Gonna be a dead stud.

View Quote Jimmy: [speaking about 'Oz'] You are the most chivalrous guy I've ever met.
Jill: Do you see why I couldn't kill him?