Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Who Framed Roger Rabbit quotes

93 total quotes (ID: 1)

Dolores
Eddie Valiant
Jessica Rabbit
Judge Doom
Multiple Characters
Roger Rabbit


Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no. Where's Roger?
Eddie Valiant: Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio.
Jessica Rabbit: No, he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk, so he wouldn't get hurt.
Eddie Valiant: Makes perfect sense.


Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours.
Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did.
Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel.
Eddie Valiant: Better lover than a driver, huh?
Jessica Rabbit: You'd better believe it, buster.

Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?
Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP!!!
Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toontown off the face of the earth! A vehicle of my own design. Five thousand gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toontown will be erased in a matter of minutes.

Judge Doom: Several months ago I had the good providence to stumble upon this plan of the city council's. A construction plan of epic proportions. They're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.
Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision. I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toontown once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.
Eddie Valiant: Come on! Nobody's going to drive this lousy freeway when they can take the Red Car for a nickel.
Judge Doom: Oh, they'll drive. They'll have to. You see, I bought the Red Car so I could dismantle it.

Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year.
Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?

Lt. Santino: Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme.
Eddie Valiant: And R. K. Maroon and my brother.
Lt. Santino: That's what I call one seriously disturbed toon.

R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You saw the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his job. You know why?
Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?
R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me.

R.K. Maroon: Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Valiant? It's just Dumbo.
Eddie Valiant: I know who it is.
R.K. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney. Him and half the cast of Fantasia. the best part is, they work for "peanuts".

R.K. Maroon: What are you going to do to me, Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: I'm going to listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario; the story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm going to edit out.
R.K. Maroon: You got it all wrong, I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer!
Eddie Valiant: Everybody's gotta have a hobby.

Raoul J. Raoul: Cut!
Cameraman: All right. That's it, Jack!
Raoul J. Raoul: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
Baby Herman: What the hell was wrong with that take?!
Raoul J. Raoul: Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were great. You were perfect. You were better than perfect! It's just Roger, he keeps blowing his lines! Roger, what is this?
Roger Rabbit: A tweeting bird?
Raoul J. Raoul: "A tweeting bird?!" Roger, read this script! Look what it says. It says, "Rabbit gets clunked, rabbit sees stars." Not birds, stars! Can we lose the playback, please! You're killing me, killing me!
Baby Herman: For crying out loud, Roger! How the hell many times we have to do this damn scene?! Raoul! I'll be in my trailer, takin' a nap! [Walks between a woman's legs]
Woman: Wooo!
Baby Herman: 'Scuse me, toots.
Raoul J. Raoul: My stomach can't take this. This is a mess, clean this set up! Get him out of there, or seal him up in it. Lose the lights! Say Lunch! That's lunch we're on a half!
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time.
Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already.
Roger Rabbit: I can take it, don't worry about me.
Raoul J. Raoul: I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about the refrigerator.

Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not patty-cake! This is impossible! I don't believe it! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.

Roger Rabbit: Okay, nobody move! All right, weasel, grab some sky or I'll let the judge have it! You heard me, I said drop it!
Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling!
Roger Rabbit: That's right, my dear. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage!
Judge Doom: Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool!
Roger Rabbit: That's it, Doom. Give me another excuse to pop you full of lead. So you thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Ha! We toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice. Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a "ton of bricks"!
[a ton of bricks falls on Roger]
Jessica Rabbit: Roger! Roger, say something!
Roger Rabbit: Look, stars! Ready when you are, Raoul.
Judge Doom: Tie the lovebirds together.

Roger Rabbit: What could have possibly happened to you to turn you into such a sourpuss?
Eddie Valiant: You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother.
Roger Rabbit: A toon? No-o!
Eddie Valiant: Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robbery at the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those days, me and Teddy liked working Toontown, thought it was a lot of laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion simoleons. We trailed him to a little dive down on Yukster Street. We went in. Only he got the drop on us, literally. Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories. Broke my arm, Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I remember was him standing over me laughing, with those burning red eyes, and that high, squeaky voice. He disappeared into Toontown after that.
Roger Rabbit: [sobbing] No wonder you hate me! If a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too!

Roger Rabbit: Yeah! Check the probate! Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with his "probate", and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water!
Eddie Valiant: Not prostate, you idiot! Probate!