Benny the Cab: And how about those Brooklyn Dodgers? Are they bums or what?

Benny the Cab: Sister Mary Frances. What the hell happened in here? I've been a cab for thirty-seven years, and I've never seen a mess like this.

Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I've still got it, Eddie. Boop boop be doop, boop!

Birds: Hi, Eddie. Hi, Eddie. Hi, Eddie. Bye, Eddie!

Droopy the Dog: [as an elevator operator] Going up, sir. [[Eddie steps in and instantly falls in] Watch your step, sir. [Eddie picks himself up] Hold on, sir. [Eddie falls to the floor of the elevator because it is going so fast; when the elevator stops, he shoots straight to the top of the elevator.] Your floor, sir. [Eddie gets out and Droopy stretches his neck out so that he and Eddie are face to face] Have a good day, sir. [Droopy's neck retracts just narrowly missing the doors closing around his neck]

Lt. Santino: Just like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head.

Marvin Acme: "If it's Acme, it's a gasser". Put it there, pal. [shakes hands with Eddie, who feels a shock] The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller.

Mrs. Herman: Mommy's going to the beauty parlor, darling, but I'm leaving you with your favorite friend, Roger. He's going to take very, very good care of you, because if he doesn't, he's going back to the science lab!

Porky Pig: [Last lines] Alright, m-m-move it along. There's, ah, nothing to see. That's all, folks. [Scratches head] Hmm... [Turns to camera] I like the sound of that! [Traditional Warner Bros cartoon closing follows:] Th-Th-Th-that's all, folks!

Smart Ass: Search the place, boys, and leave no stone "interned".

Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when you can't stop laughing? One of these days, you're gonna "die" laughing.

Tram Conductor: What do I look like, a bank?

Yosemite Sam: [with his rear end on fire, lands near Eddie] Yeow! Ow! My biscuits are burnin'! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts! [Sits in a puddle and extinguishes the fire]

Angelo: Hey, I seen a rabbit.
Judge Doom: Where?
[Roger gasps]
Eddie Valiant: Ya see?
Judge Doom: Where?!
Angelo: He's right here in the bar.
[put his arm around an imaginary friend]
Angelo: Say hello, Harvey.
[the whole bar erupts in laughter]
Roger Rabbit: I told you so.

Angelo: So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel?
Dolores: What'll it be?
Angelo: I'll have a beer, doll. So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle?
Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.
Angelo: No, wait a minute, wait a minute, I've got it. You're working for Little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep, and you're gonna help her find them, huh?
[Angelo laughs. Eddie kicks Angelo's seat out from under him and grabs him by the neck]
Eddie Valiant: Get this straight, meatball! I don't work for toons!
[Eddie stuffs a hard-boiled egg in Angelo's mouth and storms off]
Angelo: [spits out the egg] So what's his problem?
Dolores: A toon killed his brother.
Angelo: What?
Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.