Clarissa: [Sees Daphne fall over the wall] Did you see that?
Glynnis: What?
Clarissa: An impossibly large bird falling off that wall.
Glynnis: Are you hallucinating?
[Waves her hand in front of her face]

Clarrisa: Oh, very you, lovely. So Henry asked us to give you a few pointers, didn't he? Well, pointer number 1: go home. Mother and I belong here and it's quite clear you just don't fit in. And pointer number 2: while you're packing, keep your grimy little Yankee paws off Armistead Stuart, he's mine.
Daphne: If you take your nose out of the air for one second you'll see you're designer, I'm vintage. You've got a mansion, I've got a five floor walkup. You're a snotty little miss cranky pants and I go with the flow, so why would you ever think for one second that I'd ever have the same taste in guys? So here's a little pointer for you. Get over yourself and stop trying to be my daddy's little girl because I'm not going anywhere

Daphne: Hey! What are you doing here?
Ian: You know, just another one of my glamorous jobs.
Daphne: Oh!

Glynnis: Darling, darling, all I'm saying is before we let this hypothetical daughter blow your political career out of the water, we might at least consider doing some checking up on her
Henry: Now, checking up for what?
Glynnis: I don't know... criminal record, blood type, triple sixes on her scalp
Henry: Glynnis, she has a birth certificate, she has my photograph and she has my eyes.

Glynnis: I'll put a cork in it, Clarissa.
Clarissa: Maybe someone should have put a cork in it seventeen years ago.

Glynnis: Now Daphne, we don't want to make a scene now, do we?
Libby: Take your hand off my daughter or you won't get a scene, you'll get a Broadway Musical!

Henry: For me, it's just a stop on the campaign trail, and for Glynnis it's a chance to launch Clarissa on society.
Daphne: Launch her? You make her sound like a ship.
Henry: No, in Clarissa's case it's more like an intercontinental ballistic missile

Henry: I think I owe you a rather large apology.
Libby: Do you think I've waited 17 years for an apology?

Henry: I'm not explaining this very well, am I?
Daphne: No, not really. But I'm having fun watching you try.

Henry: So are you and Daphne...
Ian: Eloping together. Yeah. I realize it's a bit sudden but after last night, there was really no turning back.
Henry: You are joking aren't you?
Ian" Yes, of course.

Henry: You like co-co pops?
Daphne: Dude, its chocolate. Need I say more?

(Joking) Eloping together. Yeah. I realize it's a bit sudden but after last night, there was really no turning back.

[after Daphne walks out in fashion show] Holy poo on toast.

Dude, its chocolate. Need I say more?

Every year I would wish if that I was good enough you would come and find me.