Wet Hot American Summer

Wet Hot American Summer quotes

28 total quotes (ID: 1069)

Andy
Beth
Can Of Vegetables
Caped Boy
Coop
Gene
Katie
McKinley
Susie


"You listen to me, Mr. Kickass. Mr. Rubber Burner. You wipe that hot shot grin off your face or I'll shoot it off ya!"


If you wanna smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass, just be honest about it. Look Gene, I've never told anyone this before, but I can suck my own dick, and I do it a lot.

Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Millburn, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace. Anyone? Alexa! Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me. (Alexa: In your dreams, douche-bag!) Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you.

Mallrat Girl: There's got to be another way.
Cure Girl: Maybe we should just let them all die.
Mork Guy: No! My friend Jimmy's in there!
Cure Girl: You have a friend?
Mork Guy: I'm kidding.

Gene:...I've seen more ****ed up shit out there in five minutes than you've seen in your whole life.
Gary: Well, I'm sorry Gene, and if I could change history I would, but-
Gene: **** you! Now we need fifteen gallons of bug juice by snack time, do you know where the powder packets are?
Gary: Yeah.
Gene: In the pantry above the sink, right next to my bottle of dick cream, Wait... Forget that last comment.
Gary: Did you say dick cream?
Gene: No! I said ... stick... team, you know stick team! Stickball! Go away leave me alone!

Andy: You French great.
Lindsay: You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Man.

Gene: Now finish up them taters, I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Gary: Come on - what?
Gene: Finish up the taters.
Gary: And then what did you say?
Gene: And then what did I say?
Gary: You said you were going to... fondle your sweaters.
Gene: Ah, uh - no I didn't. I said fondue with cheddar, I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
Gary: No Gene, that is not what you said.
Gene: That is what I said. Fondue with cheddar.

J.J.: He gets so uncomfortable whenever we talk openly about sexual issues. You know he's never been with a girl before.
Gary: McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate" And I think you know what I'm talking about.
J.J.: You mean, penis-in-vagina?
Gary: No, dickhead. Sex.

Henry: Hey Beth, like the new look. Tres chic
Beth: Thank you, Henry...
Henry: Please, call me Henry.
Beth: Okay, Henry it is.

Lindsay: Hey, what'cha writin on?
Andy: My gurnal. I write my thoughts in it every day.
Lindsay: Oh, you mean a journal?
Andy: Yeah, whatever. Guess I'm not all smart like you.

Susie: You guys, I'm really gonna miss this place.
Coop: Me, too.
Ben: Hey, let's all promise that in ten years from today, we'll meet again, and we'll see what kind of people we've blossomed into.
Lindsay: Yeah!
Ben: What time do you wanna meet?
J.J.: You mean ten years from now?
Ben: Yeah.
Coop: Let's meet in the morning so we can make a day of it.
Susie: Okay, so what is it? Is it like 9:00 or 9:30?
Coop: Well, let's say 9:00, that way we can be here by 9:30.
McKinley: Well, no, why don't we say 9:30, and then make it your beeswax to be here at 9:30? I mean, we're all gonna be in our late 20s by then. I just don't see any reason why we can't be places on time.
Gary: Okay, then, it's settled. 9:30 it is. All agreed?
Together: Agreed.
McKinley: Great, 'cause I have something at 11:00.
Gary: You've just got like a trapper-keeper full of appointments, right?
McKinley: No, I just, I have something at 11:00, and I can't change it, because I already moved it twice.

Katie: Well, I just wanna spend some time with you, you know? It's our last day at camp.
Andy: My butt itches.
Katie: What are you talking about. Hey, we're soulmates right?
Andy: What? Yeah, whatever, if you want... J.J. save me a waffle man!

Beth: Hey you, penny for your thoughts.
Henry: Beth, tomorrow is the least of our problems.
Beth: Don't tell me, Oh don't tell me, don't even tell me you have crabs!
Henry: No... Well, yes, but that's not the point.