Wedding Crashers quotes

189 total quotes

Chazz Reinhold
Jeremy Grey
John Beckwith
Other People

The Wedding Crashers Rules
Todd Cleary
William Cleary
Zach's Friends

View Quote I was first-team All-State. I can put the ball wherever I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

View Quote Todd: Mom make you feel her tits?
John: Did you say something Todd?
Todd: Mom make you feel her tits?
John: Todd, where are you going with this?
Todd: Just don't, don't say anything to my dad though. Some friend of my sisters. She said something to my dad a couple of years ago. He now lives in a shack in Guam. Not by choice.

View Quote Nature versus nurture, Lodge. Nature always wins.

View Quote [sees Jeremy carrying the grandmother back to her room]
Randolph: You banging the daughter and the grandma? How much jam you got, man?
Jeremy: Jam? L--
Randolph: Listen, man,the family dog lives downstairs. I can wake him up for you, if you like. His name is Snooky.
Jeremy: You could not be more wrong about what's happen--
Randolph: Just be gentle with her, okay? She be pushing 90! Jesus Christ.

View Quote Ma! The meatloaf! ****!!

View Quote That's what we call a sack lunch! Num-num-num-num-num!

View Quote Rule #112 - Always Rawdog.

View Quote (Upon finding out that Jeremy is getting married) WHAT?! What an IDIOT! What a loser! Good! Good! More for me and you!

View Quote Rule #55 - If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle Ned. Everyone has an Uncle Ned.

View Quote God damn you! I almost nun-chucked you. You don't even realize!

View Quote Rule #115 - Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket

View Quote Grow up Peter Pan; Count Chocula!

View Quote Husband: Yeah, that's right, go comatose for me, baby!

View Quote Rule #7 - Blend in by standing out.

View Quote [about Todd] Oh, he says he believes in art, but all I've seen him do is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick!