Computer technician: Put X in the center square!

Jim Sting [to Malvin]: Remember you told me to tell you when you were acting rudely and insensitively? Remember that? You're doing it right now.

Joshua:Shall we play a game?

McKittrick: Excuse me, sir. We can't send these men back to the President of the United States with a lot of head-shrinker horseshit!

Nigan: He does fit the profile perfectly. He's intelligent, but an under-achiever; alienated from his parents; has few friends. Classic case for recruitment by the Soviets.

David Lightman: Is it a game... or is it real?
Joshua: What's the difference?
David: Oh wow.
Joshua: You are a hard man to reach.

David: I can't swim.
Jennifer: You can't swim?
David: No, I can't, all right, Wonder Woman? I can't swim.
Jennifer: Well, what kind of an asshole grows up in Seattle and doesn't even know how to swim?
David: I never got around to it, okay? I always thought there was gonna be plenty of time!
Jennifer: Sorry.
David: I wish I didn't know about any of this. I wish I was like everybody else in the world, and tomorrow it would just be over. There wouldn't be any time to be sorry about anything. Oh, Jesus! I really wanted to learn how to swim. I swear to God I did.

David: Joshua called me.
McKittrick: David, machines don't call people!
David: [shrugs] Yours did.

David: What is the primary goal?
Joshua: You should know, Professor. You programmed me.
David: Oh, c'mon. What is the primary goal?
Joshua: To win the game.

General Beringer: Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.
McKittrick: I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of shit.
General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education.

General Beringer: Who's first and how soon?
Major: Sir, the WOPR indicates initial impact points as the 43rd Bomb Wing at Loring, the 319th at Grand Forks, and Alaskan Air Command headquarters at Elmendorf.

Jennifer: He wasn't very old, was he?
David: Oh, he was pretty old, he was 41.
Jennifer: Wow, that is old.

Joshua: Greetings, Professor Falken.
Stephen Falken: Hello, Joshua.
Joshua: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?

Joshua: Shall we play a game?
David: Oh!
Jennifer: I think it missed him.
David: Yeah. Weird isn't it? Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War.
Joshua: Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?
David: Later. Right now lets play Global Thermonuclear War.
Joshua: Fine.

Malvin: I can't believe it, Jim. That girl's standing over there listening and you're telling him about our back doors?
Jim Sting: [yelling] Mister Potato Head! MISTER POTATO HEAD!! Back doors are not secrets!
Malvin: Yeah, but Jim, you're giving away all our best tricks!
Jim Sting: They're not tricks.