Trading Places

Trading Places quotes

37 total quotes (ID: 914)

Billy Ray Valentine
Louis Winthorp III
Others


Beeks: Hey. Back off! I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain.


Bunny: And she stepped on the ball.

Corrupt Cop: [Takes some PCP out of a baggie and tastes it] That's PCP! Phenycyclidine. Angel dust! You ever seen what this stuff does to kids? You're looking at 5 to 10 mandatory... Louis!

Even Bigger Black Guy: It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.

Harvey: Monkey? MONKEY! I'm a ****ing gorilla, you clown!

Mortimer Duke: This an outrage! I demand a full investigation!

Officer Reynolds: [to Louis] Strip, you little shit, before I tear you a new asshole!

Ophelia: [noticing Louis watch her undress] By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch.

Big Black Guy: You beatin' 10 cops. How come I don't see no bruises on you?
Billy Ray: 'Cause I'm a karate man, see! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness. But you don't know that because you're a big Barry White looking mother****er! So get outta my face!

Billy Ray: [after breaking a vase] Hey, sorry about that.
Randolph Duke: It's perfectly all right William. It was your vase.
Billy Ray: That was a cheap vase, right? That was a fake? Right?
Randolph Duke: I believe we paid $35,000. But if I remember correctly, we valued it for the insurance company at $50,000. You see, Mortimer? William has already made us $15,000.
[Coleman, Mortimer, Randolph, and Billy Ray start laughing]
Billy Ray: You want me to break something else?
Randolph Duke, Mortimer Duke, Coleman: NO!

Billy Ray: [Billy Ray is in jail] I wish my bitches would get here. I ain't got time to be sitting in this cell with you.
Big Black Guy: Where are your bitches, Mr. Big-Time Pimp?
Billy Ray: [to Cellmate #2] Didn't I tell you that the phone in my limousine is busted, and I can't get in contact with my bitches?
Cellmate #2: [to Big Black Guy] Yeah! The phone in the limo was busted. What is ya, ignorant?

Billy Ray: [watches Louis clean his shotgun] You know, you can't just go around and shoot people in the kneecaps with a double-barreled shotgun 'cause you pissed at 'em.
Louis: Why not?
Billy Ray: 'Cause it's called assault with a deadly weapon, you get 20 years for that shit.
Louis: Listen, do you have any better ideas?
Billy Ray: Yeah. You know, it occurs to me that the best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.
Coleman: You have to admit, sir, you didn't like it yourself a bit.

Billy Ray: Merry New Year!
Beeks: That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."
Billy Ray: Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!

Billy Ray: What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?
Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.

Coleman: [offering Billy Ray a sip from his flask; they are both in Halloween costumes] Would you like a sip of whiskey?
Billy Ray: I do not drink, it is against my religion!
Coleman: Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation.