Buzz Lightyear quotes

To infinity and beyond!

How dare you open a Space Ranger's helmet on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!

Years of academy training, wasted!

(insanely) Gone! It's all gone! All of it's gone! Bye-bye! Whoo! See ya!

Don't you get it?! [points to a doll's hat on his head] You see the hat?! I am Mrs. Nesbitt!

(weeping) But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron is a bit much, but the hat...

Mr. Potato Head: [Mr. Potato Head has put his eyes, mouth and nose in a position that reflects a famous Picasso work] Hey Hamm, look at me! I'm Picasso!
Hamm: I don't get it.
Mr. Potato Head: You uncultured swine!

Rex: [drops down in front of Woody] Ro-o-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-r!!!
Woody: [distracted] How you doing, Rex?
Rex: [desperate] Were you scared? Tell me honestly!
Woody: I was close to being scared that time.

Buzz: I'm Buzz Lightyear. I come in peace.
Rex: Oh, I'm so glad you're not a dinosaur!

Mr. Potato Head: How come YOU don't have a laser, Woody?
Woody: It's not a laser. It's a little light bulb that blinks.
Hamm: What's with him?
Mr. Potato Head: Laser envy.

Hamm: So where are you from, Singapore? Hong Kong?
Buzz: Well no, I'm actually stationed at the Gamma Quadrant, Sector Four, as an elite Universe Protection Unit. I protect the Galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!
[long pause]
Mr. Potato Head: Oh really? I'm from Playskool.
Rex: And I'm from Mattel. Well, I'm not actually from Mattel, I'm from a smaller company that was purchased in a levereged buy-out.

Woody: Look, we're all very impressed with Andy's new toy.
Buzz: Toy?
Woody: T-O-Y! Toy!
Buzz: Excuse me, but I think the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger."
Woody: The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are preschool toys present.

Rex: [about Sid] I thought he was at summer camp?
Hamm: They must have kicked him out early this year.

[Buzz is muttering things into his "mission log"]
Woody: Shut up! Just shut up, you idiot!
Buzz: Sheriff, this is no time to panic.
Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move to a new house in two days, and it's all your fault!
Buzz: My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place--
Woody: Well, if you hadn't shown up inside your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me--
Buzz: Don't talk to me about importance! Because of you, the future of this entire universe is in jeopardy!
Woody: What?! What are you talking about?!
Buzz: Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals his weapon's only weakness. And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!!!
[long pause; Woody stares at Buzz, incredulous and dumbfounded]
Woody: [exploding with rage] You...are...a...toy-y-y!! You are not the real Buzz Lightyear! Oh, you're an action figure! You are a child's play thing!!
Buzz: You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. Farewell.
Woody: Oh, yeah?! Well good riddance, ya loony!

Sergeant: It's a Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!
Hamm: Way to go, Idaho!
Mr. Potato Head: Gee, I'd better shave! [plucks off his moustache and tosses it aside]

Buzz: I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Woody: Oh, great, and if anyone attacks us, we can blink 'em to death!

[after witnessing Sid blow up a toy] Buzz: I could've stopped him.
Woody: Buzz, I would love to see you try. Of course, I'd love to see you as a crater.

Woody: Tuesday's plastic corrosion awareness meeting was, I think, a big success. We'd all like to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. Thank you, Mr. Spell.
Mr. Spell: [mechanically] You're welcome.

Rex: Hey guys, RC's trying to say something! What is it, boy?
Mr. Potato Head: He says that this was no accident!
Rex: What?
Bo-Peep: What are you saying?
Mr. Potato Head: I'm saying that "Humpty Dumpty" was pushed...by Woody!
Bo-Peep: What?!
Woody: Oh, come on now, you don't think I really meant to kill Buzz, do you? Potato Head?
Mr. Potato Head: That's Mr. Potato Head to you, backstabbing murderer!

Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Woody: Oh. Good.
Buzz: [darkly] But we're not on my planet. Are we?
Woody: No.
[Buzz starts beating up Woody]

Buzz: This is an intergalactic emergency. I need to commandeer your vessel to Sector 12. Who's in charge here?
Squeaky Aliens: [pointing up] The Claw!
1st Alien: The Claw is our master.
2nd Ailen: The Claw chooses who will go and who will stay.
Woody: This is ludicrous.

Woody: Listen, Lightsnack. You stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me.
Buzz: What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip (adhesive tape)?
[slides under his ship with a skateboard]
Woody: [pulls him back out] And another thing. Stop with this spaceman thing! It's getting on my nerves!

Mr. Potato Head: How did I get stuck with you as a moving buddy?
Rex: Everyone else was picked.

[Sid's little sister Hannah is playing tea party with a dressed up Buzz]
Buzz: [through voice-box] There's a secret mission in uncharted space! Let's go!
Hannah: Really? That is so-o-o-o-o interesting. Would you like some more tea, Mrs. Nesbitt? It's so nice you could join us on such late notice. What a lovely hat, Mrs. Nesbitt. It goes quite well with your head.

[Woody finds Buzz dressed up as "Mrs. Nesbitt" and in the company of two headless dolls] Woody: Buzz? Are you okay?
Buzz: ['drunk' and tormented] Gone! It's all gone. All of it's gone! Bye-bye! Whoo! See ya!
Woody: What happened to you?
Buzz: One minute you're defending the whole galaxy, and suddenly you find yourself suckin' down Darjeeling with Marie Antoinette and her little sister. [the headless dolls wave]
Woody: Don't you get it?! You see the hat?! I am Mrs. Nesbitt!!
Woody: Snap out of it, Buzz! [opens Buzz's helmet, slaps Buzz across the face with the detached arm, then closes the helmet]
Buzz: [calmly] You're right. I'm sorry, I am just a little depressed, that's all. I can get through this. [breaks down again] Oh, I'm a sham!

Woody: Hey who's got my hat?
Shark: [wearing Woody's hat] Look, I'm Woody! Howdy, howdy, howdy!
Woody: [laughing sarcastically] A-ha...A-ha...Gimme that!

[Buzz deploys his wings] Hamm: Wow, Impressive wingspan! Very nice.
Woody: Oh, what? Wha-a-a-a-t? These are plastic. He can't fly.
Buzz: They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I can fly.
Woody: No you can't.
Buzz: Uh, yes I can.
Woody: You can't!
Buzz: Can!
Woody: [poking Buzz's helmet] Can't, can't, ca-a-a-n't!
Buzz: I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!
Woody: Okay, Mr. Lightbeer, prove it.

[watching guests arrive for Andy's party with presents] Rex: Any dinosaur-shaped ones?
Hamm: For crying out loud, they're all in boxes, you idiot!
Rex: They're getting bigger!
Slinky Dog: Wait, there's a nice little one over there.
[girl turns round, revealing the full length of the box she's carrying; the toys scream]

Woody: Hey guys, look! It's the real Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz: You're mocking me, aren't you?
Woody: Oh no-no-no-no. Buzz, look! An Alien!
Buzz: Where?!
Woody: [slaps knees and laughs breathlessly]

[Woody is trapped in a box in Sid's room, whilst Buzz is strapped to a rocket]
Woody: Hey Buzz, get over here and see if you can get this toolbox off me! [Buzz looks away, depressed] Oh, come on Buzz, I... I can't do this without you. I need your help.
Buzz: [pitiful] I can't help. I can't help anyone.
Woody: Sure you can, Buzz, you can get me outta here. And then I'll get that rocket off you, and we can make a break for Andy's house!
Buzz: Andy's house. Sid's house. What's the difference?
Woody: Buzz, you've had a big fall, you're must not be thinking clearly...
Buzz: No Woody, for the first time I am thinking clearly. You were right all along. I'm not a Space Ranger, I'm just a toy, a stupid little insignificant toy.
Woody: Whoa, wait a minute. Being a toy is a lot better than being a "Space Ranger."
Buzz: Yeah, right.
Woody: No, it is. Look, over in that house is a kid who thinks you're the greatest, and it's not because you're a Space Ranger, it's because you're a toy. You are his toy.
Buzz: But why would Andy want me?
Woody: [incredulous] Why would Andy want you?! Look at you! You're a Buzz Lightyear! Any other toy would give up its moving parts just to be you! You've got wings! You glow in the dark! You talk! Your helmet does that, that, that whoosh thing! You are a cool toy! As a matter of fact, you're too cool. I mean, what chance does a toy like me have against a Buzz Lightyear action figure? All I do is... [yanks his pullstring] Why would Andy ever want to play with me, when he's got you? I'm the one that should be strapped to that rocket.

[Sid is about to light the rocket Buzz is attached to]
Woody: [through voice box, without having his string pulled] Reach for the sky-y-y-y-y!
Sid: [walking over to investigate] Huh?
Woody: This town ain't big enough for the two of us!
Sid: What?
Woody: Somebody's poisoned the water hole!
Sid: It's busted.
Woody: [through voice box] Who are you calling busted, buster?
[Sid reacts, disturbed]
Woody: That's right, I'm talking to you, Sid Phillips. We don't like being blown up, Sid. Or smashed, or ripped apart.
Sid: "We"?
Woody: That's right, your toys.
[all the mutant toys come to life and surround Sid, who is terrified]
Woody: From now on you must take good care of your toys. Because if you don't, we'll find out, Sid. [spinning his head around] We toys can see e-e-e-every-y-ythi-i-i-ing. [comes to life] So play nice.
[Sid runs away, screaming in terror]

[Woody and Buzz are attached to a rocket that is about to explode]
Woody: Aaaagh! This is the part where we blow up!
Buzz: Not today!
[Buzz opens his wings, freeing himself and Woody from the rocket before it blows to pieces; they begin to glide through the air]
Woody: Buzz! You're flying!
Buzz: This isn't flying! This is falling, with style!
Woody: To infinity and beyond!

[Listening to the baby monitor to track Andy's Christmas presents]
Woody: [teasing] Buzz, you're not worried, are you?
Buzz: No, no, no. [pause] Are you?
Woody: [jovially] Buzz, what could Andy possibly get that is worse than you?
[the sound of barking is suddenly heard over the baby monitor]
Andy: Wow, a puppy!
[Woody and Buzz exchange nervous smiles]

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