Tin Cup quotes

View Quote You know someone once said that golf and sex are the only two things you don't have to be good at to enjoy.

View Quote Roy: Okay, so how do I do it? Therapy, I mean, I mean, wh-- how do I start doing it?
Molly: Ooo-kay, Roy. Well, in parlance you might understand, just kick back and let the big dog eat.
Roy: Suppose there's this guy, and he's standing on the shore of a big wide river, and the... river's full of all manner of disaster, you know, piranhas, alligators, eddies, currents, shit like that nobody'll even go down there to dip a toe. And on the other side of the river's a million bucks, and on this side of the river is a rowboat.
Molly: Mm-hmm?
Roy: I guess my question's this: What would possess the guy standing on the shore to swim for it?
Molly: He is an idiot.
Roy: No, see, he's a helluva swimmer. His problem's more like why does he always have to rise to the challenge?
Molly: He is a juvenile idiot.
Roy: You don't understand what I mean by the river.
Molly: Roy, we're talking about you, and what you like to call your inner demons -- that human frailty you like to blather about -- not some mythopoetic metaphor you come up with in a feeble and transparent effort to do yourself credit.
Roy: You mean you're going to make me feel lousy?
Molly: No.
Roy: I came here to feel better. I mean, what kind of therapy is...
Molly: Roy, Roy, Roy, you don't have any inner demons. What you have is inner crapola, inner debris... garbage... loose wires, [laughs] horseshit in staggering amounts.
Roy: I'm not some just jerk driving range pro who drinks too much booze, eats too few vegetables, okay?

View Quote Roy: I didn't come here to play for second.
Romeo: Simms'll always be second. I'll meet you at the Winnebago! I'll fire up the blender!
Roy: I just gave away the U.S. Open.

View Quote Roy: A lost and desperate soul stands before you. I assume I have the confidentiality of the doctor/client privilege in regard to this outfit?
Molly: Of course. What happened?
Roy: I got the shanks.
Molly: Are you taking penicillin?
Roy: There's a glitch in my swing.
Molly: That's Romeo's department.
Roy: He thinks it's your department. Says it's a head thing.

View Quote Roy: You know why I still hit that shot?
Romeo: Yeah, because it's the only way you could beat Dave Simms.
Roy: No.
Romeo: 'Cause it was that look in your face...
Roy: I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you. If I had it to do all over again, I'd still hit that shot.
Romeo: Man, you'd bury yourself alive just to prove you could handle the shovel.

View Quote Roy: Parred the backside with a 7-iron.
Simms: Why?
Molly: Yeah, that's exactly right. That's the question, "Why?"
Romeo: Because he broke his other clubs. Snapped them in two.
Simms: Jesus.
Roy: Not all of them. Romeo broke two.
Simms: I'm on your side here. We go way back. I hope you qualify for the Open. But if you do, you better play with control or you'll get slaughtered. Good players shoot an 80 in the Open. You see it means you just can't go for it.

View Quote [to Boone, who doesn't want to wager his car] That's because you think of it as transportation, Boone. Think of it as bragging rights. Think of yourself sitting around the bar, crowing to your cronies about the Cadillac you won from me. They'll forget all about the Winnebago you lost to me.

View Quote Romeo: You know what I think? She's got you by the huevos.
Roy: Your job is to teach me patience and humility. Don't advise me on love-life. Not all my thinking occurs below the belt. I stand for a few things besides my next romantic interlude.
Romeo: You'll have no trouble telling her you can't teach her until after the Open.
Roy: That'd make an issue out of something that's not an issue. Besides, I'm focused. I am! This is my quest! This is my stand for the guys who've had their fill of soulless robots like David Simms.
Romeo: Well, He may be a soulless robot, but he's a rich, happy, soulless robot... with a beautiful doctor-lady girlfriend. Besides, how's getting in the Open going to change what she thinks about you?
Roy: Well, it'll show her that I'm not who she thinks I am.
Romeo: But you are who she thinks you are!

View Quote Romeo: You're humble now, homes.
Roy: I was hungover.
Romeo: Maybe that was a coaching mistake.
Roy: Yeah, maybe it was. Thanks, amigo.

View Quote Does my inner child need a spanking?

View Quote [to Molly] "****." "Shit." These are technical golf terms. You're using them on your first lesson. This is promising.

View Quote Roy: Listen to me...you're with the wrong guy. I'm the right guy. You know how he said my face was screwed up tighter than a drum, well I know that it's because I've been crazy about you. From the moment you came here, when you were wearing all this stupid shit. And the whole damn thing has both inspired me to get here and also caused me to get the shanks, which could humilate me in front of a billion zillion people in a game I used to know how to play pretty good. (smiles) Such is life. (pauses) Dump that phony bastard you're with and come to the Open in my corner, okay? Tell me...tell me you're not just like at least moderately attracted to me.
Molly: You have moments.
Roy: Yeah, well you tell me which ones are my moments and I'll try and duplicate them.

View Quote I can always tell when someone's lying to himself. But I'm susceptible and frequently wrong when a person lies to me.

View Quote Roy: Any of you shitheads ever get bored? You ever get bored? 'Cause I got a riddle. Takes about 2 ounces of brains to figure it out. Anybody think they got a brain with 2 ounces of brain?
Romeo: There's a rumor Earl does.
Roy: For chrissakes, boys, come on, a little self-confidence from the gallery. This ain't long division.

View Quote Roy: Keep shooting pars, asshole!
Simms: I'll take 18 of them, all day long!
Roy: Do it and I'll own you.