Thank You for Smoking quotes

View Quote I don't have an M.D. or Law degree. I have a bachelors in kicking ass and taking names.

View Quote Senator Ortolan Finistirre: The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese.

View Quote Bobby Jay Bliss : It was some pretty ****ed up shit.

View Quote Nick Naylor: I speak on behalf of cigarettes.
Child: My mommy says that cigarettes kill.
Nick Naylor: Now, is your mommy a doctor?
Child: No.
Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind?
Child: No.
Nick Naylor: Now, she doesn't exactly sound like a credible expert now, does she?
Child: [sinks back into her chair]

View Quote Jeff Megall: Sony has a futuristic sci-fi movie they're looking to make.
Nick Naylor: Cigarettes in space?
Jeff Megall: It's the final frontier, Nick.
Nick Naylor: But wouldn't they blow up in an all-oxygen environment?
Jeff Megall: [Long pause] Probably. But, you know, it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue: "Thank God we created the, you know, whatever device."

View Quote Joey: What happens when you're wrong?
Nick Naylor: See, Joey, that's the beauty of argument. When you argue correctly, you're never wrong.

View Quote [Nick Naylor and his son arguing about ice cream]
Joey: So, what happens when you're wrong?
Nick: Well, Joey, I'm never wrong.
Joey: But you can't always be right.
Nick: Well, if it's your job to be right, then you're never wrong.
Joey: But what if you are wrong?
Nick: Okay, let's say that you're defending chocolate and I'm defending vanilla. Now, if I were to say to you, "Vanilla's the best flavor ice cream", you'd say …?
Joey: "No, chocolate is."
Nick: Exactly. But you can't win that argument. So, I'll ask you: So you think chocolate is the end-all and be-all of ice cream, do you?
Joey: It's the best ice cream; I wouldn't order any other.
Nick: Oh. So it's all chocolate for you, is it?
Joey: Yes, chocolate is all I need.
Nick: Well, I need more than chocolate. And for that matter, I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom and choice when it comes to our ice cream, and that, Joey Naylor, that is the definition of liberty.
Joey: But that's not what we're talking about.
Nick: Ah, but that's what I'm talking about.
Joey: But … you didn't prove that vanilla's the best.
Nick: I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong, and if you're wrong, I'm right.
Joey: But you still didn't convince me.
Nick: Because I'm not after you. I'm after them.

View Quote Jack: Hey, Neil! Neil! I'm going to impale your mom on a spike and feed her dead body to my dog with syphilis!
Neil: Ha, you got me!
[Jack turns back to Joey and Nick, who both look confused.]
Jack: It's an inside joke.

View Quote After watching the footage of the Kent State shootings, Bobby Jay, then seventeen, signed up for the National Guard so that he too could shoot college students.

View Quote How many alcohol related deaths a year? 100,000? That's, what, 270 a day? Tragedy.

View Quote I front an organization that kills 1,200 people a day.

View Quote The message Hollywood needs to send out is that smoking is cool. We can put the sex back into cigarettes.

View Quote Michael Jordan plays ball. Charles Manson kills people. I talk. Everyone has a talent.

View Quote The number 1 killer in America is cholesterol, and here comes Senator Finisterre who's clogging the nation's arteries with Vermont cheddar cheese.

View Quote These days, when someone smokes in the movies, they're either a psychopath … or a European.