Team America: World Police quotes

53 total quotes

Lisa
Matt Damon
Multiple Characters
Other Characters
Spottswoode

View Quote Spottswoode: If you're going to storm Kim Jong Il's palace singlehanded, we have very little time left to make you the world's ultimate soldier! ...which will be difficult, because you're gay now. [walks away]
[Gary frowns]

View Quote Chris: Well, I am not going anywhere with this [lays hands on Gary] ****in' traitor!
Joe: Yeah! What makes you think we'll take you back, you douchebag?!
Chris: We're doing this without you!
Spottswoode: Now hold on team, Gary has already proven to me, that he is one hundred percent committed to the team. He proved it last night by sucking my ****!
[for a brief moment, the team gaze at Gary a little suspiciously]
Joe: Uhright! Come on, team, we gotta find that stage!

View Quote Sean Penn: Qapla!
All assembled actors: Qapla!
Tim Robbins: [touting a machinegun] I swear they won't reach the stage!

View Quote [Tim Robbins kicks Gary down and Martin Sheen strikes Chris with a adjustable wrench]
Tim Robbins: Actors Out!!
[Actors drop from above one by one stating their name]
Helen Hunt: Helen Hunt!
Samuel L. Jackson: Samuel Jackson!
Matt Damon: Matt Damon!
Samuel L. Jackson: [Kicks Gary while he's still down] Mother****er!

View Quote Alec Baldwin: We are here to usher in a new era without violence. By following the rules of the Film Actors Guild, the world can become a better place ...that handles dangerous people with talk, and reasoning. That... is the **** way. One day you will all look at the world us actors created and say, "Wow, good goin', ****. You really made the world a better place, didn't ya, ****?"

View Quote Tim Robbins: Don't ****ing move! [Everyone turns to Tim Robbins] Now isn't that a shame. you came so close to stopping peace, but you see: peace - always - finds - a way. Goodbye Team America!
Chris: I've just got one piece of bad news for you, Robbins.
Tim Robbins: What's that?
Chris: I'm a smoker! [Flicks ciggarette at Tim Robbins who subsequently dies a screaming death amidst the flames.]

View Quote Kim Jong Il: Don't ****ing move! [crowd stops]You were all going to be treated to a fablous show but now party's over! For I am the great Kim Jong Il!
Gary Johnston: [seeing Lisa] Lisa! [runs off]
Kim Jong Il: And I am the greatest terrorist ever to have lived!! [Lisa slides towards Kim Jong Il]
Lisa: Terrorize this. [kicks over the balcony. He falls onto the enlarged spike on an old style German military hat]

View Quote Chris: I hate to break this little party, but there are still a lot of bad guys out there.
Gary Johnston: Er-well, then let's show the bad guys the police are back in force!
Lisa: **** yeah.
Gary Johnston: **** yeah.

View Quote Kim Jong Il: Do you have any idea how ****ing busy I am?

View Quote Sometimes believing is all we have.

View Quote Empath: I sense... [The obvious or erroneous]

View Quote Lisa: Terrorize this!

View Quote 9/11 times ... [various characters]

View Quote [The words "act" and "acting" used in various novel ways.]

View Quote Cairo... That's in Egypt.