Stripes quotes

View Quote Well, my name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. I dont know if you've noticed, but I got a slight weight problem.

View Quote Capt. Stillman: It looks like a fine group of men, Sergeant.
Ox: I sure hope this is the mess hall! (to Stillman, observing his Captain insignia): How's it goin', Eisenhower?!
Sgt. Hulka: Yes, sir, a fine group of men.
Russell Ziskey: [teaching an English class to foreigners] Okay, I know you're anxious to jump right in and start speaking English, but there's a couple of things I need to know first, because I've never done this before. So, how many of you would say you speak English fairly well, but with some difficulties?
[pause]
Russell Ziskey: A little English?
[a man raises his hand]
Russell Ziskey: Yes? You speak some English?
Man: Son of bitch. Shit.
Class: [in unison] Son of bitch. Shit.

View Quote Psycho: My name's Francis Sawyer... but everyone calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis... I'll kill ya.
Leon: Ooooooh.
Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don't like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meathooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff... I'll kill ya. And I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me... I'll kill ya.
Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis. We're all in this together. One of these men may save your life one of these days, you understand that?
'Winger: Then again maybe one of us won't.

View Quote Sergeant Hulka: Okay, Mr. Push-ups, let's hear your story.
John Winger: Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.
[points to the soldier next to him]
John Winger: Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. But the two of us together? Forget it! I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka isn't always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Sergeant Hulka.
[the soldiers start clapping]
Sergeant Hulka: Well, okay, hotshot. We're gonna see what kind of soldier you are.

View Quote General Barnicke: Where the hell have you been, soldier?
John Winger: Traaaaaaaining, sir!
Soldiers: Training, sir!
General Barnicke: What kind of training, son?
John Winger: Aaaaaaarmy training, sir!
Soldiers: Army training, sir!
[laughter]
General Barnicke: Where's your drill sergeant, men?
John Winger: Blown up, sir!
Capt. Stillman: Uhh, yes, sir, these are Sgt. Hulka's men. He was injured during basic training.
General Barnicke: I soo. So am I to understand you men completed your training on your own?
John Winger: Tha's the fact, Jack!
Soldiers: That's the fact, Jack!
General Barnicke: Captain, these are exactly the kind of go-getters I want on my EM-50 project.
Capt. Stillman: But, sir . . .
General Barnicke: Don't "But" me, Captain. I want them on the plane. Tonight!
John Winger: Gentlemen, it's party time...battalion style!

View Quote My doctor says I've been swallowing a lot of aggression, along with a lot of pizzas.

View Quote Excuse me, stewardess, is there a movie on this flight?

View Quote Russell Ziskey: You could join a monastery.
John Winger: Did you ever see a monk get wildly ****ed by some teenage girls?
Russell Ziskey: Never.
John Winger: So much for the monastery.

View Quote Sgt. Hulka: Maybe you'd like to take a swing at me.
John Winger: I 'd like to take a big swing at you, sarge.
Sgt. Hulka: Well, go ahead and give it your best shot.
John Winger: I don't think I want to go to the stockade.
Sgt. Hulka: I'll take my hat off. There we are, Winger. Ain't no more drill sergeant. It's just you and me, kid, man to man. So go ahead, give it your best shot. Swing at me. Gutless. Punk.
[Winger fakes, then tries to hit Sgt. Hulka, who ducks and punches Winger in his stomach, dropping him to his knees, gasping for breath.]
Sgt. Hulka: [putting his hat back on] I'm willing to forget this little incident. And I want you to think real hard about it. And maybe someday you'll understand what the hell I'm talking about.

View Quote Sergeant, I don't think we should march today. You know it's the cold and flu season.

View Quote We're all very different people. We're not Watusi, we're not Spartans, we're Americans. With a capital "A", huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts.

View Quote [after stumbling on the sidewalk] Have that removed.

View Quote You better hit those bunks, my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the big toe is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass.

View Quote Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?
John Winger: You mean like flaming?
Recruiter: Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.
Russell Ziskey: No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.
John Winger: Yeah . . . Would they send us someplace special?

View Quote Sergeant Hulka: Men, welcome to the United States Army. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mamas are not here to take care of you now. It's just you, me, and Uncle Sam. And before I leave you, you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one in the same.
John Winger: Uncle Hulka?