Dark Helmet: Fire a warning shot across her nose.
[Warning shot almost hits Vespa's Benz]
Dark Helmet: Careful, you idiot, I said across her nose, not up it.
Crosseyed Gunner: Sorry, sir, I'm doing my best.
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Crosseyed Major: I did, sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too, sir. Gunner's mate, First Class, Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?
[The entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand.]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! [Closes helmet] Keep firing, assholes!
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