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So I Married an Axe Murderer

So I Married an Axe Murderer quotes

38 total quotes

Charlie Mackenzie
Stuart Mackenzie




View Quote Rose Michaels: Let me make you some breakfast.
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh gee, you know, I-I'd love to but, you know, I'm really running late.
Rose Michaels: What would you say to silver dollar pancakes, fresh squeezed orange juice, bacon, and Kona coffee?
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, that sounds great.
[scene changes to her pouring Charlie a bowl of Fruit Loops]
Rose Michaels: Sorry, I didn't have those other things.
View Quote Rose Michaels: You know Harriet.
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, actually I don't.
Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her.
Charlie Mackenzie: Hello!
View Quote Stuart Mackenzie: So, Charlie tells me you're a butcher.
Harriet Michaels: Yes, I am a butcher.
Stuart Mackenzie: Do you link your own sausage?
View Quote Harriet Michaels: Charlie, have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff or a subway platform with someone and you thought just for a split second "What if I pushed him?"
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, not really. Usually I follow the Judeo-Christian ethic of "Thou shalt not kill" but that's just me.
View Quote Frank/Obituary writer: Here's another one here, Native San Franciscan, plumber, Elliot, Ralph. Moved to Dallas, dissappeared four months ago. Body was found in a sewer.
Newspaper reporter: Well, guy takes his job too seriously, life goes down the drain. Haha.
Charlie Mackenzie: Did they mention anything about his wife?
Newspaper reporter: Alright, okay. Look, I know that we're talking about real people so I'm sorry.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no. I'm serious, did they mention the wife?
Newspaper reporter: No, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a joke about other people's lives.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no. I'm really serious. Did they mention the wife? I just want to know about the wife.
Newspaper reporter: Hey, hey! You win, you win, okay? I'm a bad person!
Frank/Obituary writer: Hey, c'mon take it easy, will ya?
Newspaper reporter: No, he's saying I'm a bad person and that I'm insensitive. He's saying I'm a shit.
Frank/Obituary writer: He's not saying you're a shit!
Charlie Mackenzie: Did they-did they mention the wife?!
Newspaper reporter: No! No! They didn't mention the wife! Ya happy?! Yeah! Oh hoo, yes, yes. I'm insensitive! I'm a very insensitive man! Stop your job, look at the insensitive man! That's what they're paying you for!
Frank/Obituary writer: [to Charlie] He was my ride home.
View Quote Charlie Mackenzie: I don't want to lose you.
Harriet Michaels: You didn't. You rejected me.
Charlie Mackenzie: Okay, I'm un-rejecting you.
View Quote Harriet Michaels: Ralph, this is Charlie.
Ralph: It's really great to meet you.
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh no, no. It's great to meet you. Yes, yes. I love you!
[hugs her tightly out of happiness, making his towel drop]
Charlie Mackenzie: ...I'm naked, aren't I?
View Quote Charlie Mackenzie: Marry me.
Harriet Michaels: No..
Charlie Mackenzie: ...Please?