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Simon Birch

Simon Birch quotes

36 total quotes

Adult Joe Wenteworth (Narrator)




View Quote Miss Leavey: Help. Please. I'm gonna strangle him. I swear to God I'm gonna strangle that little granite mouse if it's the last thing I do.
View Quote [At the nativity play]
Marjorie: Simon, are you okay? Simon, what is it?
Simon Birch: Boobs! [Reaches out to grab Marjorie]
View Quote [At the nativity play]
Bully: IM GONNAH KICK YOUR ASS, YOU LITTLE PERVE!
Joe Wentworth:[in pain after being hit in the ball from Marjorie] Hey pick on someone your own size! [Pointing at bully]
Bully: OKAY! [And punches Joe Wentworth!!]
View Quote Simon Birch: I want to know that there's a reason for things. I used to be certain, but now I'm not so sure. I want you to tell me that God has a plan for me, a plan for all of us. Please.
[Finding it difficult to respond with a good answer]
Rev. Russell: Simon...I can't.
View Quote Mr. Birch: Simon's sick.
Joe Wenteworth: I know.
Mr. Birch: So was I when I heard what he did last night. The whole town's talkin' about it. What a little screw-up.
Joe Wenteworth: Hey, your son is not a screw-up. He's a hero.
Mr. Birch: What the hell are you talkin' about?
Joe Wenteworth: I said he's a hero. And you don't deserve him. I want you to know that.
View Quote [At the birth scene of Simon Birch.] Simon Birch was the smallest delivery ever recorded in the history of Gravestown Memorial Hospital.