Signs

Signs quotes

43 total quotes (ID: 537)

Graham
Merrill


[Officer Paski talks to the Hess family about the intruder from last night]
Caroline: So how are you, Merrill?
Merrill: Fine.
Caroline: How's work at the gas station?
Merrill: [sarcastically] Stimulating.
Caroline: I never got a chance to tell you, but I thought your moving in here with your brother after... was a nice thing to do.
Merrill: Well, I don't think I'm helping much.
[Caroline looks at Morgan, then back at Merrill]
Caroline: You are.


[Caroline is attempting to derive a description of the suspect from Merrill and Grant]
Caroline: Okay. So far, I have "it was very dark."
Grant: Yes, it was.
Caroline: You didn't see him at all? I don't know whether to look for a giant or a midget.
Merrill: No, he definitely wasn't a midget.
Caroline: Okay, so he was tall?
Grant: Yeah.
Caroline: Over six feet?
Merrill: It was very dark.
Grant: Yes, it was.

[Caroline has mentioned a Nordic-looking female stranger as a possible suspect. The Hess family is skeptical]
Caroline: And my point is, we don't know anything about the person you saw, and we should just keep all possibilities available.
[Bo enters the kitchen]
Bo: Dad, where's the remote?
Graham: I don't know, baby. Why don't you check under the sofa cushions?
Merrill: Excluding the possibility that a female Scandinavian Olympian was running around outside our house last night, what else might be a possibility?
Caroline: I'm not done asking questions, and I don't appreciate sarcasm.

[During the drive into town, Morgan and Bo are at the bookstore]
Mr. Nathan: It's just a bunch of crock! They're trying to sell sodas! It's plain and simple. Been watching these reports since morning; I have seen twelve soda commercials so far. Twelve!
Morgan: Do you have any books on extraterrestrials?
Mr. Nathan: Oh, don't tell me you believe this horse manure.

[Merrill stops by an Army recruitment center]
SFC Cunningham: You didn't used to play baseball, did you? Shit, I know you, you're Merrill Hess! I was there the day you hit that 500 footer over the left field wall! Set the record! Man, that thing had a motor on it! It's still the record, right?
Merrill: Got the bat at home, on the wall.
SFC Cunningham: You got two minor league home-run records, don't ya?
Merrill: Five.
SFC Cunningham: Why aren't you in the pros making stacks of cash and getting your toes licked by beautiful women?
Lionel Prichard: 'Cause he has another record most people don't know about. He has the minor league strikeout record.
[Merrill turns to see Prichard in the corner of the office]
Merrill: Hello, Lionel.
Lionel Prichard: Merrill's a class-A screw-up. He just swing that bat as hard as he could every time. Didn't matter what the coaches said, didn't matter who was on base. He'd just whip that bat through the air as hard as he could. Looked like a lumberjack chopping down a tree. Merrill here has more strikeouts than any two players.
SFC Cunningham: You really got the strikeout record?
Merrill: Felt wrong not to swing.

[At the bookstore, while Morgan reads, Bo sips a glass of water]
Bo: It's contaminated.
Mrs. Nathan: Carl, there's something wrong with our water!
Morgan: Your water's fine. Bo has this thing about her drinking water. She had it her whole life. It's like a tic people have, except it's not a tic.
[Mrs. Nathan looks down at Bo, who's clearly not happy with her brother's explanation]
Mrs. Nathan: Is that right?
[We hear someone pound a fist]
Mr. Nathan: Thirteen!

[At the pharmacy, Graham reluctantly listens to Tracy Abernathy's conscience-clearing]
Tracy: I cursed 37 times last week. I said the f word a couple of times, but mostly... shits, and... bastards. Is douche bag a curse?
Graham: I suppose that would depend on its usage.
Tracy: How about, "John, you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara"?
Graham: It's a curse.
Tracy: Then it's not 37, it's 71.

[In the car, Morgan is listening to Bo's old baby monitor, hoping to catch alien signals]
Merrill: Morgan, this crop stuff, it's about a bunch of nerds who never had a girlfriend in their lives. They're like thirty and they work up these little codes together, and they analyze Greek mythology, and make up secret societies where other guys who never had girlfriends before can join in. They do stupid crap like this to feel special. It's a scam. Nerds were doing it 25 years ago, new nerds are doing it again.
Graham: It's just static, Morgan.
[Disturbing noises come from the baby monitor]
Morgan: It's a code.
Bo: Why can't they get girlfriends?
Graham: It's broken, Morgan. It's just gonna keep doing this. Maybe some new batteries...
Morgan: You might lose the signal!
Merrill: This is exactly what the nerds want...

[As Graham hands the baby monitor to Merrill over the car, the noises get louder and stranger]
Morgan: Stop!
[The two of them freeze, both hands on the monitor. They all listen carefully]
Graham: See, this is why we're not watching TV. People get obsessed.

[Graham traces an extension cord into the closet under the stairs, where he finds Merrill watching TV]
Merrill: For the kids' protection. All they were doing was watching TV. I feel like they were getting obsessed like you said. They should be playing Furry Furry Rabbit or Tea Party or something.
Graham: What's Furry Furry Rabbit?
Merrill: It's a game, isn't it?

[Graham finds the kids reading the extraterrestrial book, wearing makeshift aluminum-foil helmets]
Morgan: So the aliens can't read our minds.
Graham: Oh! Of course.

Graham: Who wrote this book?
Morgan: A scientist who had been persecuted for their beliefs.
Graham: That means they're unemployed.
Morgan: If you're gonna make fun of it, then forget it.
Bo: This is serious.
Graham: I don't know what got into me.
Morgan: There are pictures. Dr. Bimbu, the author of the book--
Graham: Bimbu?
Morgan: Dad!
Graham: I just asked his name.
Morgan: You had a tone.

[Morgan looks through his telescope at the cloudy sky. Bo stands beside him]
Bo: You don't think something bad will happen. Do you, Morgan?
Morgan: Why? You have one of your feelings again?
[She nods.]
Morgan: Is it bad?
[She nods again.]
Morgan: I won't let anything bad happen to you.
[Bo hugs her brother's arm.]
Bo: I don't want you to die.
Morgan: Who said I was gonna die?

[Graham approach's Reddy's pantry, where something is moving around behind the locked door]
Graham: Hello. The police are here. I am with them. I am a police officer. I just want to talk with you. We know all about the hoax. We already took some of your friends downtown in a paddy wagon.
[He grimaces, silently repeating the archaic word]
Graham: Just tell us your name and why you did it, and we'll give you the same deal we gave the others. Don't throw your life away, son.

[Morgan gives a detailed description of the book's predictions of the aliens' plans]
Graham: How can anyone possibly know that information? It's ridiculous. [pauses] What else did it say?
Morgan: They said there are one of two outcomes of an invasion. One, they fight and are defeated, and have to return again with full forces in hundreds, maybe even thousands of years time.
Graham: What's two?
Morgan: They win.