[Merrill stops by an Army recruitment center]
SFC Cunningham: You didn't used to play baseball, did you? Shit, I know you, you're Merrill Hess! I was there the day you hit that 500 footer over the left field wall! Set the record! Man, that thing had a motor on it! It's still the record, right?
Merrill: Got the bat at home, on the wall.
SFC Cunningham: You got two minor league home-run records, don't ya?
Merrill: Five.
SFC Cunningham: Why aren't you in the pros making stacks of cash and getting your toes licked by beautiful women?
Lionel Prichard: 'Cause he has another record most people don't know about. He has the minor league strikeout record.
[Merrill turns to see Prichard in the corner of the office]
Merrill: Hello, Lionel.
Lionel Prichard: Merrill's a class-A screw-up. He just swing that bat as hard as he could every time. Didn't matter what the coaches said, didn't matter who was on base. He'd just whip that bat through the air as hard as he could. Looked like a lumberjack chopping down a tree. Merrill here has more strikeouts than any two players.
SFC Cunningham: You really got the strikeout record?
Merrill: Felt wrong not to swing.
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