Shrek the Third quotes

View Quote Prince Charming: You. You can't lie. So tell me, puppet, where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Uh, hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: It wouldn’t be inaccurate to assume that I couldn’t exactly not say that it is or isn’t almost partially incorrect.
Prince Charming:- So you do know where he is?
Pinocchio: Oh, on the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: ...do or do not know where he shouldn’t probably be, if that indeed wasn’t where he isn’t. Even if he wasn’t at where I knew he was, that’d mean I’d really have to know where he wasn't.

View Quote "Listen Artie, eh, if you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you dude. I mean, I'm not trying to get all up in your grill, raise your roof or whatever."

View Quote Rapunzel: Oh pookykins you said you wouldnt hurt them.
Prince Charming: Not now kitten whiskers.

View Quote Puss in Boots (Donkey): Oh, man. I haven't been on a trip like that since college.
Shrek: Donkey?
Puss in Boots (Donkey): What? I got something in my teeth? Huh!? What the... Oh n-no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a fancy-feasting, second-rate sidekick!
Donkey (Puss in Boots): Oh, at least you don't look like some kind of a bloated roadside piñata! You should really go on a diet!

View Quote Doris: I know he's a jerk and everything but I gotta admit that Charming makes me hotter than July.
Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel: Ewwwww!

View Quote Captain Hook: (looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook) Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan!
Boy's Mother: His name's not Peter!
Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy.

View Quote (after Shrek tries to talk to him with cliched teenager lingo) HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A MONSTER WHO'S TRYING TO RELATE TO ME!

View Quote Prince Charming: This was supposed to be MY happily ever after!!!
Shrek: Well, I guess you better keep looking (looks at Fiona lovingly, then back at Charming)...'cause I'm not giving up mine!

View Quote Snow White: Everybody keep calm...WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! (before getting slapped by Doris)

View Quote Puss In Boots (Donkey): We got boat crash and the magic mix.
Doris: You poor sweet things.
Cinderella: I don't get it.
Snow White: The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet...What's there to get?
Sleeping Beauty: Who that?

View Quote Captain Hook: Avast, ye cookie. Start talking.

View Quote Artie: (To Shrek) Please don't eat me
Students and Teacher:(chanting) Eat him eat him...
Shrek: I'm not here to eat him!
Students and Teacher: Aww...
Shrek: It's time for toothbrush and jammies. You're the new king of far far away.
Artie: What?

View Quote (to Shrek): Please don't eat me.

View Quote Gingy: I hate dinner theatre.
Pinocchio: Me too. [his nose grows]

View Quote Fiona: For what it's worth, you would've made a great king.
Shrek: (rubs Fiona's tummy) I had something else in mind.