Most scenes together: Shrek & Donkey (10), Donkey & Puss in Boots (9), Shrek & Puss in Boots (8)
Charming, let go of her!
But why would I want to do that?
Woof.
Say hello, ladies, to the new queen of Far Far Away!
Yay! [claps]
Jealous much?
Soon you'll be back where you started… scrubbing floors or locked away in towers; that is, if I let you last the week.
But Pooky, you said you wouldn't hurt them.
Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later.
For what it's worth, you would've made a great king.
I hate dinner theatre.
Me too. [his nose grows]
This was supposed to be MY happily ever after!!!
Well, I guess you better keep looking (looks at Fiona lovingly, then back at Charming)...'cause I'm not giving up mine!
You. You can't lie. So tell me, puppet, where is Shrek?
Uh, hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
It wouldn’t be inaccurate to assume that I couldn’t exactly not say that it is or isn’t almost partially incorrect.
- So you do know where he is?
Oh, on the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably...
Stop it!
...do or do not know where he shouldn’t probably be, if that indeed wasn’t where he isn’t. Even if he wasn’t at where I knew he was, that’d mean I’d really have to know where he wasn't.
Yeah?!
Wait!
What is it?!
No! No, I said I'm- [gets cut off by the foghorn again]
I said I'm pregnant!
You're going to be a father!
Really?! I'm glad you think so! I love you!?
I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! I'M GOING TO BE AN UNCLE!!
And you, my friend, are royally- [the different foghorn blasts again as the boat disappears into the fog]
Oh, man. I haven't been on a trip like that since college.
Donkey?
What? I got something in my teeth? Huh!? What the... Oh n-no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a fancy-feasting, second-rate sidekick!
Oh, at least you don't look like some kind of a bloated roadside piñata! You should really go on a diet!
We got boat crash and the magic mix.
You poor sweet things.
I don't get it.
The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet...What's there to get?
Who that?
It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny, but I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. [another female cats talking] As are you... [to another female cat] And you... [more cats get angry at each other] And, uh...hi. I don't know you, but I'd like to. [the cats yowl and screech] I gotta go. [then leaves on the journey]
And I'm not you!
Oops. [realizes that Puss's cape and Donkey's tail were swapped, then walks away] Ah, never mind.
Oh pookykins you said you wouldnt hurt them.
Not now kitten whiskers.
Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you.
Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. [presses a button]
Don't worry. She and the others are safe, for now. [grins evilly; the guards burst in and hold Artie hostage. Shrek puts him down.] Let me guess. Arthur.
This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? [laughs and held the dagger to Artie's throat] How pathetic. Stand still so I won't make a mess.
Charming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. This isn't about him.
Then who's this about? I'm supposed to be king, right?
You weren't really next in line for the throne; I was!
Not exactly.
What's that supposed to mean?
Look, I said whatever I had to say, alright? I wasn't right for the job; I just needed some fool to replace me, and you fit the bill! So, so just go!
You catch on real fast, kid. Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought.
You know, for a minute there...I actually thought you...
What? That he cared about you? He's an ogre. What did you expect? [Artie breaks free from the guards and glares at Shrek before storming out of the dressing room in anger. Shrek feels guilty] You really do have a way with children, Shrek.
[The guards lead Shrek out of the room]
See, what did I tell you? The kid's gonna make a great king.
For what it's worth, you would have, too.
Oh, so now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser", huh?
Hey! If you think this is getting you out of anything, well, it isn't! We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another. And you're gonna be a father!
"You're gonna be king!" [reverts back to his normal voice] Yeah, right. [walks away]
Where do you think you're going?!
Far Far Away... from you!
You get back here, young man, and I mean it!
[But Artie didn't turn around and continues walking away.]
