Multiple Characters quotes

Magnus Buchan: I always wanted to be in one of your ****in' plays.

Bert Fischer: [to Herman] Are you fond of that moustache?

Mr. Littlejeans: Best play ever, man.

Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation.
Max Fischer: And what does that entail?
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore.
Max Fischer: In other words, I'll be expelled.
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: That's correct.
Max Fischer: Can I see some documentation on that, please?
[Guggenheim hands him his transcript]
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: Too many extracurricular activities, Max. Not enough studying.
Max Fischer: Dr. Guggenheim, I don't want to tell you how to do your job. But the fact is, no matter how hard I try, I still might flunk another class. If that means I have to stay on for a post-graduate year, so be it...
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: - We don't offer a post-graduate year.
Max Fischer: Well, we don't offer it yet.

Max Fischer: What was your major?
Rosemary Cross: I didn't have a major, but my thesis was on Latin American economic policy.
Max Fischer: Oh, that's interesting. Did you hear that they're not going to teach Latin anymore?
Rosemary Cross: This was more like Central America.

Max Fischer: I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn: These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer: Oh, are they?

Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max?
Max Fischer: The secret?
Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out.
Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest of your life. For me, it's going to Rushmore.

Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.

Herman Blume: Dirk?
Dirk: I know about you and the teacher.
Herman Blume: Does Max know?
Dirk: No, and I don't want him to know, ever. I just want it to stop right now. You're a married man, Blume. You're supposed to be his friend.
Herman Blume: Look Dirk, I am his friend.
Dirk: Oh yeah, and with friends like you who needs friends? (spits on Herman's car)

Max Fischer: The truth is, neither one of us has the slightest idea where this relationship is going. We can't predict the future.
Rosemary Cross: We don't have a relationship.
Max Fischer: But we're friends.
Rosemary Cross: Yes, and that's all we're going to be. Well, yes...
Max Fischer: That's all I meant by "relationship." You want me to grab a dictionary?

Herman Blume: She's my Rushmore.
Max Fischer: I know. She was mine too.

Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man!
Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this.
Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?

Max Fischer: So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn: We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer: Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.

Ernie: What kind of fish?
Max Fischer: Barracuda, stingrays, electric eels, trout, hammerheads, piranha, giant squid, octopi...
Herman Blume: Piranhas? Really?
Max Fischer: Yes, I'm talking to a guy in South America.

Max Fischer: How much are you worth, by the way?
Herman Blume: I don't know.
Max Fischer: Over ten million?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I guess so.
Max Fischer: Good, good.
Herman Blume: Why?
Max Fischer: Cause we're gonna need all of it.

[Max has just petitioned to make Latin a required subject]
Magnus Buchan: [heavy Scottish brogue] Why dincha just piss off, Fischer? Ya dotty wee skid mark!
Max Fischer: Is that Latin?

Architect: Mr. Blume, how are Ronny and Donny enjoying military school?
Herman Blume: They love it.
Magnus Buchan: Lucky bastards.

Dr. Peter Flynn: I understand you're a neurosurgeon.
Bert Fischer: No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.

Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit by a car and I'm feeling a little confused.

Rosemary Cross: [tending a wound on Max's forehead] Is this fake blood?
Max Fischer: Yes, it is.

Rosemary Cross: I'll show you the door.
Max Fischer: I'll just go back out the window.

Rosemary Cross: How did I hurt your feelings?
Max Fischer: Oh, my God! I wrote a hit play! [pause] And I'm in love with you.

Rosemary Cross: Has it ever crossed your mind that you're far too young for me?
Max Fischer: It crossed my mind that you might consider that a possibility, yeah.

Rosemary Cross: Do you think we're going to have sex?
Max Fischer: That's a kinda cheap way to put it.
Rosemary Cross: Not if you've ever ****ed before, it isn't.

Dr. Peter Flynn: [To Rosemary] I didn't know we were going to dinner.
Max Fischer: Well, that's because you weren't invited.

Max Fischer: Your mind's as warped as your ear, Magnus.
Magnus Buchan: Don't get nasty, brother.

Herman Blume: Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer: Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume: That big one?
Max Fischer: Yeah.
Herman Blume: It would've flattened me like a pancake.

Max Fischer: And 'm going to stick a knife in his heart. And 'm going to send him back to Ireland in a bodybag.
Tommy: He's from Scotland.
Max Fischer: Well, tell that stupid mick he just made my list of things to do today. 'm going to pop a cap in his ass.

Max Fischer: I don't give a shit about the barracudas, **** it! I'm building it anyway.

Max Fischer: You're supposed to say, “Forget about it, Sanchez" ,The old man likes his canoli' lines-
Frank: I made a mistake, all right? It doesn't make any difference, anyway.
Max Fischer: Hey, I'm letting it go. But don't tell me it doesn't matter. Every line matters.
Frank: Get off my back!
Max Fischer: Don't **** with my play!

Herman Blume: Come work for me.
Max Fischer: What do you mean?
Herman Blume: I mean I-I could use someone like you.
Max Fischer: Look, I may not be rich, Mr. Blume, my father may only be a neurosurgeon, but we manage.

Herman Blume: So you've changed your mind and you want the job.
Max Fischer: No, I've got an idea and I need some money.

Bert Fischer: You're like one of those clipper ship captains. You're married to the sea.
Max Fischer: Yes, that's true. [pause] But I've been out to sea for a long time.

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