The Royal Tenenbaums quotes

View Quote Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't?

View Quote Go, Mordecai!

View Quote Margot Tenenbaum: You probably don't even know my middle name.
Royal Tenenbaum: That's a trick question. You don't have one.
Margot Tenenbaum: Helen.
Royal Tenenbaum: That was my mother's name.
Margot Tenenbaum: I know it was.

View Quote Raleigh St. Clair: You don't love me anymore, do you?
Margot Tenenbaum: I do, kind of. I can't explain it right now.
Raleigh: Are you ever coming home?
Margot: Maybe not.
Raleigh: Well, I wanna die.

View Quote [after the fire drill] Four minutes, forty-eight seconds. We're all dead. Burned to a crisp.

View Quote What do you think we should do? Find the guy..get him?

View Quote Richie: Did you say you were on Mescaline?
Eli: I did indeed. Very much so.
Richie: How often do you-
Eli: I'm worried about you, Richie. I found it odd when you said you were in love with Margot. She's married, you know.
Richie: Mm hm.
Eli: And she's your sister.
Richie: Adopted.
Eli: Mm.

View Quote Richie: I wrote a suicide note.
Chas: You did?
Richie: Right after I regained consciousness.
Chas: Can we read it?
Richie: No.
Chas: Can you paraphrase it for us?
Richie: I don't think so.
Chas Tenenbaum: Was it dark?
Richie Tenenbaum: Of course it's dark, it's a suicide note.

View Quote Royal: I got a pretty bad case of cancer.
Chas: [yawns] How long you gonna last?
Royal: Not long.
Chas: A month? A year?
Royal: About six weeks. Let me get to the point, the three of you and your mother are all I've got and I love you more than anything.
[Chas scoffs and mock laughs] Oh ho! Ho ho!
Royal: Chas, let me finish here! I've got six weeks to set things right with you and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance?
Chas: No.
Royal: Do you speak for everyone?
Chas: I speak for myself.
Royal: Well you've had your say, now it's someone else's turn.

View Quote Royal: Are you trying to steal my woman?
Henry Sherman: I beg your pardon?
Royal: You heard me, Coltrane.
Henry Sherman: "Coltrane"?
Royal: What?
Henry Sherman: Did you just call me Coltrane?
Royal: No.
Henry Sherman: You didn't?
Royal: No.
Henry Sherman: Okay...

View Quote Eli: I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.
Royal: Me too, me too.

View Quote He also stole bonds out of my safety deposit box when I was fourteen.

View Quote Margot: Why'd you do it? Because of me?
Richie: Yeah. But it's not your fault.

View Quote Royal: Richie, this illness, this closeness to death... it's had a profound affect on me. I feel like a different person, I really do.
Richie: Dad, you were never dying.
Royal: ...but I'm gonna live.
[Richie walks away, Margot and Henry Sherman stand on stoop]
Royal: He's not your father.
Margot: Neither are you.

View Quote I didn't think so much of him at first, but now I get it. He's everything I'm not.