Road House quotes

View Quote Frank Tilghman: (showing blueprints) This... This is the new Double Deuce; I've put a lot of money and time in this, and to protect my investment I hired the best damn cooler in the business. From now on he's in charge of all bar business...what he says goes! Dalton...
(Dalton comes down smiling)
James Dalton: Morgan you're out of here
Morgan: What is that supposed to mean?
James Dalton: You don't have the right temperament for the trade
Morgan: You a**hole! What am I supposed to do?!
James Dalton: There's always Barber College!
(snickers from everyone)
Morgan: (he takes his last payment from Mr. Tilghman) To Dalton You're a dead man!
James Dalton: (Pointing to a waitress) You're out too...We're selling booze here not drugs
Waitress: (Sarcastically after taking her last payment also) Thank you.
James Dalton: Anybody else here dealing? I'm telling you straight... It's my way or the highway, so if anybody wants to walk do it now (Nobody moves) Ok; people who want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse, and we've got entirely too many troublemakers here..Too many uhh, 40 year old adolescents, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry...It's going to change.
Bouncer: Yeah, that sure sound great...but a lot of the guys who come in here we can't handle one-on-one, even two-on-one.
James Dalton: Don't worry about it; all you have to do is follow 3 simple rules: One, never underestimate your opponent..expect the unexpected; Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutley necessary; and Three...be nice.
Fat bouncer: (Incredulously) Come on!!
James Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a c**ksucker I want you to be nice
Fat Bouncer: (With resignation) Ok
James Dalton: Ask him to walk, be nice, if he won't walk, walk him, but be nice, If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you and you will both be nice...I want you to remember, that it's the job, it's nothing personal.
Bouncer Steve: Being called a c**ksucker isn't personal?
James Dalton: No, it's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response
Bouncer Steve: What if somebody calls my Mama a whore?
James Dalton: Is she?
(everybody snickers)
James Dalton: I want you to be nice.. until it's time..to not be nice
Bouncer 2: So, uh, how are we supposed to know when that is?
James Dalton: You won't..I'll let you know...You are the bouncers I am the Cooler; All you have to do is watch my back and each others....and take out the trash!

View Quote Steve: [having sex in a back room of the Double Deuce.] Oh, yeah! You're gonna be my regular Saturday-night thing, baby!

View Quote Dalton: People who really want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse. Now we've got entirely too many troublemakers here. Too many, uh, forty-year-old adolescents, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry. That's going to change.
Hank: Man, that sure sounds good. But a lot of the guys that come in here, we can't handle one-on-one. Even two-on-one.
Dalton: Don't worry about it. All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One: Never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two: Take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three: Be nice.
. . .
Dalton: You are the bouncers, I am the cooler. All you have to do is watch my back — and each others — and take out the trash.

View Quote [The chief of police arrives to find Brad Wesley dead of multiple shotgun wounds.]
Police Chief: All right. Who's gonna tell me what the hell happened here?
Emmet: I didn't see nothing. You see anything, Pete?
Pete Stroudenmire: No, I didn't see anything. You see anything, Red?
Red West: I didn't see nothing — not a thing! You see anything, Tinker?
Tinker: A polar bear fell on me.

View Quote Emmett: Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. It don't belong.

View Quote Dalton: You play pretty good for a blind boy.
Cody: And I thought you'd be bigger.

View Quote Frank Tilghman: [repeated line] I thought you'd be bigger.

View Quote Dalton: You got quite a little enterprise going here.
Pat: What?
Dalton: [You're] going through a bottle every 30 minutes, you're skimming the till for six shots a bottle, on drafts, one every ten.
[As Pat slams the register shut, Dalton turns to Tilghman.]
Dalton: I figure he's costing you about a hundred and fifty a night.
Pat: [grinning] So?
Dalton: So, consider it severance pay. Take the train.

View Quote Emmett: It ain't the money ya understand, but if I don't charge ya somethin' the Presbyterians around here are likely to pray for my ruination. How does a hundred dollars a month strike ya?
Dalton: Fine.
Emmett: Can ya afford that much?
Dalton: If it keeps you in the good graces of the church.
Emmett: Ain't it peculiar how money seems to do that very thing?

View Quote Jimmy: [to Dalton] I used to **** guys like you in prison.

View Quote Dalton: Sorry, we're closed.
Ketchum: Then what are all these people doing here?
Dalton: Drinking and having a good time.
Ketchum: That's why we're here.
Dalton: You're too stupid to have a good time.

View Quote Doc: [stitching up a knife wound] Do you ever win a fight?
Dalton: Nobody ever wins a fight.

View Quote Brad Wesley: Tell me — if I owned a bar, and wanted to clean it up, how much would it take to get you to come work for me?
Dalton: There's no amount of money.

View Quote Doc: Your file says you've got a degree from NYU. What in?
Dalton: Philosophy.
Doc: Any particular discipline?
Dalton: No. Not really. Man's search for faith. That sort of shit.
Doc: Come up with any answers?
Dalton: Not too many.
Doc: How's a guy like you end up a bouncer?
Dalton: Just lucky I guess.

View Quote Dalton: [walking in on Steve having sex with a girl in the supply closet] Yo, Steve! You're history.
Steve: But I'm on my break!
Dalton: Stay on it.
Steve: Ah, shit!