Pumpkin: The way it is now, you're taking the same risk as when you rob a bank. You take more of a risk, banks are easier. Federal banks ain't supposed to stop you in any way during a robbery. I mean, they're insured, why should they give a ****? You don't even need a gun in a federal bank. I heard of this one guy, walks into a bank with a portable phone. He gives the phone to the teller, a bloke on the other end of the line says, we've got this guy's little girl, if you don't give him all your money, we're gonna kill her.
Honey Bunny: Did it work?
Pumpkin: ****ing right, it worked. That's what I'm talking about! Knucklehead walks into a bank with a telephone. Not a pistol, not a shotgun, a ****ing phone. Cleans the place out, don't even lift a ****ing finger.
Honey Bunny: Did they hurt the little girl?
Pumpkin: I don't know, there probably never was a little girl in the first place. The point of the story isn't the little girl, the point of the story is they robbed a bank with a telephone.
Honey Bunny: You want to rob banks?
Pumpkin: I'm not saying I want to rob banks, I'm just illustrating that if we did, it'd be easier than what we've been doing.
Honey Bunny: No more liquor stores?
Pumpkin: What have we been talking about? Yeah, no more liquor stores. Besides, it ain't the gig it used to be. Too many foreigners own liquor stores. Vietnamese, Koreans, they don't understand ****ing English. You tell them, empty out the register, they don't know what the **** you're talking about. They make it too personal; if we keep on, one of these gook ****ers is gonna make us kill him.
Honey Bunny: I'm not gonna kill anybody.
Pumpkin: I don't want to kill anybody either. But they'll probably put us in a situation where it's us or them. And if it's not the gooks, it's these old ****ing Jews who've owned the store for fifteen ****ing generations, you've got Grampa Irving sitting behind the counter with a ****ing Magnum in his hand. Try walking into one of those places with nothing but a phone, see how far you get. **** it; forget it. We're out of it.
Honey Bunny: So what then, day jobs?
Pumpkin: Not in this life.
Honey Bunny: What then?
Pumpkin: Garcon! Coffee! [to Honey Bunny] This place.
Waitress: [arrives with coffee; pours some into Pumpkin and Honey Bunny's mugs] Garcon means "boy". [walks away]
Honey Bunny: This place? A coffee shop?
Pumpkin: Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. Bars, liquor stores, gas stations--you get your head blown off sticking up one of them. Restaurants on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get robbed. Not as expectant, anyway.
Honey Bunny: I bet you could cut down on the hero factor in a place like this.
Pumpkin: Correct. Same as banks, these places are insured. Manager? He don't give a ****. He's just trying to get you out the door before you start plugging the diners. Waitresses? ****ing forget it! No way they're taking a bullet for the register. Busboys, some wetback getting paid a dollar-fifty an hour, really give a **** you're stealing from the owner? Customers are sitting there with food in their mouths, they don't know what's going on. One minute they're having a Denver omelette, next minute somebody's sticking a gun in their face. See, I got the idea, last liquor store we held up, all the customers kept coming in?
Honey Bunny: Yeah.
Pumpkin: And you got the idea of taking their wallets. Now that was a good idea.
Honey Bunny: Thank you.
Pumpkin: Made more from the wallets than we did from the register.
Honey Bunny: Yes, we did.
Pumpkin: A lot of customers come into a restaurant.
Honey Bunny: A lot of wallets.
Pumpkin: Pretty smart, eh?
Honey Bunny: Pretty smart. I'm ready. Let's do it. Right now, right here. Come on.
Pumpkin: [handing gun o Honey Bunny] All right, same as last time, remember? You handle gun control, I'll handle the employees.
[they kiss]
Honey Bunny: I love you, Pumpkin.
Pumpkin: I love you, Honey Bunny. [Stands and brandishes a gun] Everybody be cool, this is a robbery!
Honey Bunny: Any of you ****ing pricks move, and I'll execute every mother****ing last one of you!
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