Jules Winnfield quotes

I wouldn't go so far as to call the brother fat. I mean, he's got a weight problem. What's the nigga gonna do? He's Samoan.

Ain't no ****ing ball park neither! Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but you know touching his wife's feet and sticking your tongue in the holiest of holies ain't the same ****ing ball park. It ain't the same league. It ain't even the same ****ing sport! Look, foot massages don't mean shit!

Mother****er do that shit to me, he better paralyze my ass because I'd kill the mother****er, know what I'm saying?

Did you see the size of the gun he just fired at us? It was bigger than him!

We should be ****ing dead, my friend.

This was divine intervention. Do you know what divine intervention is?

That's right, that's exactly what it means. God came down from heaven and stopped these mother****ing bullets.

Wrong! Wrong. This shit doesn't "just happen".

What happened here today was a miracle, and I want you to ****ing acknowledge it!

We gotta get this car off the road! You know, cops tend to notice shit like you're driving a car drenched in ****ing blood.

If my answers frighten you, Vincent, then you should cease asking scary questions.

I used the same ****ing soap you did, and when I finished, the towel didn't look like no God damn maxi-pad.

Well, yeah. I was just sitting here, eating my muffin, drinking my coffee, when I had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity.

Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now, when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when mother****ers get scared, that's when mother****ers accidentally get shot. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here definitely doesn't want that.

Normally, both of your sorry asses would be deader than ****ing fried chicken by now, but you happened to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period, so I don't wanna kill you. I wanna help you. But I can't give you what's in this case, it doesn't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this case to just hand it over to your dumb asses.

There's this passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."[1] I been saying that shit for years. And if you heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a mother****er before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this morning made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking, maybe it means you're the evil man, and I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or, it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd.

[When Pumpkin asks which wallet in the bag is his] It's the one that says "Bad Mother ****er."

[After opening trunk] We should have had shotguns for this kinda deal.

[When the manager tells him to stop causing problems and getting them all killed] Shut the **** up, fat man, this ain't none of your god-damned business!

Oh, oh – you ready to blow?! Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-laying mother****er, mother****er! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of the Navarone! In fact, what the **** am I doing in the back?! You're the mother****er who should be on brain detail! We're ****ing switching, I'm washing the windows and you're picking up this ****'s skull.

ENGLISH, mother****er, DO YOU SPEAK IT?

Well, the way they pick the shows on TV is they make one show, and that show's called a pilot. And they show that one show to the people who pick the shows, and on the strength of that one show, they decide if they want to make more shows. Some get accepted and become TV programs, and some don't, and become nothing. She starred in one of the ones that became nothing.

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the