Producers, The (1968)

Producers, The (1968) quotes

65 total quotes (ID: 469)

Franz Liebkind
Leo Bloom
Lorenzo St. DuBois
Max Bialystock
Multiple Characters
Roger De Bris

Singers: Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Winter for Poland and France

Franz: I know who did zis! It vas that LSD!
Max: [hands Franz a bunch of dollar bills] Go, Franz! Buy bullets!

You're an accountant! You're in a noble profession! The word "count" is part of your title!

Max: Ulla! Go get car!
Ulla: Ja, ja! We go to motel?
Max: No. I go with Mr. Bloom.
Ulla: You and Mr. Bloom go to motel?
Max: No! No Motel! Get Car! Get Car!
Ulla: Get car!

Bloom, I'm drowning. Other men sail through life, Bialystock has struck a reef. Bloom, I'm going under. I'm condemned by a society that demands success when all I can offer is failure. Bloom, I'm reaching out to you. Don't send me to prison... HEEELLP!

Hitler... there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in ONE afternoon! TWO coats!

Max: Roger, did you have a chance to read "Springtime for Hitler?"
Roger De Bris: [emerges from behind a partition wearing a dress] Remarkable, remarkable! A stunning piece of work.
Leo: [under his breath] Max... he's wearing a dress.
Max: No kidding.
Roger De Bris: Did you know, I never knew that the Third Reich meant Germany. I mean it's just drenched with historical goodies like that... Oh dear, you're staring at my dress. I should explain. We are going to the choreographer's ball tonight and there's a prize for the best costume.
Carmen Ghia: And we always win!
Roger De Bris: I don't know about tonight. I'm supposed to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia, but I think I look more like Tugboat Annie. What do you think, Mr. Bloom?
Leo: Where do you keep your wallet?

[Searching for the sure-fire flop] "Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to discover that he had been transformed into a giant ****roach." Nah, it's too good.

I used to have thousands of investors wanting to put their money in a Max Bialystock production! These are my investors now! [shows pictures of little old women] Little old women who want one last thrill of life of their way to the cemetery.

[holding a gun to his head] Soon, I shall be with mein Führer... and Himmler. I'm coming to join you boys! [he pulls the trigger - it's out of bullets. Deeply disgusted:] Boy, when things go wrong...!

Baby! Baby!... Why does he say this "baby"? The Führer has never said "baby". I did not write, "baby". What is it with this, "baby"?

[smiling at Leo to calm him down] Well you know what they say, 'smile and the world smiles with you.' [Aside] This man should be in a straight-jacket.

Thank you, I knew I could con you.

[after Goebbels throws a reefer into a vase, and a large explosion occurs] They try; man, how they try!

Ulla: Goddag på dig!
Leo: Uh, I beg your pardon?
Ulla: Goddag på dig!
Leo: Ah, gut da! Max, have you gone mad? A receptionist who can't speak English? What will people say?
Max: They'll say, "A wuma wa wa wa wa!"