Howard: Hi, everybody. My name is Gene Sternburn, and welcome to Match Game. We have a lot of excitement in the air today because we have some great panelists.
...
Howard: Let's play our game now, OK? Shall we? And what we're gonna do is ask you to fill in the blank, OK? Now, I want you to listen carefully. Our first clue up is...blank willow. Blank willow. [Music Plays] Let's go over to Miss Brett Somers right now. Now, Brett, what did you have for us? Blank willow.
Robin; The only thing on my mind, Gene, was pussy.
Howard: Uh-oh. Pussy. Hey, all right. Hey, that's kind of wild. Pussy willow, that's what I would have said. All right, let's go over to Dick Nixon, former president of the United States. What did you have? Blank willow.
Fred: In any language, pussy.
Howard: All right! Now let's go to our newest member of the panel, Mr. Jackie "Jokeman" Martling. Blank willow.
Jackie: Well, Gene, I didn't write it too neat, so I have a sloppy pussy.
Howard: Sloppy pussy! We had a sloppy and a fuzzy pussy and a very big one.
Fred: Are we talking about Brett again?
Howard: All right, now, Let's keep going. Now it's gonna get a little rougher, OK? Everybody ready? Blank a-doodle-doo. Blank a-doodle-doo. [Music Plays] Blank a-doodle-doo. Think about that while the celebrities are writing. Here we are. Let's go over to our Dick Nixon, our own ex-president. What do you got there, Dick?
Fred: Well, it takes a Dick to know a ****, and that's what I wrote.
Howard: ****-a-doodle-doo. Now, that's what I would have said. That seemed like the obvious answer. OK, let's go to our own Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling. Jackie The Jokeman?
Jackie: Gene, I have ****, and I wrote it big. I have a big ****.
Howard: Uh, I don't think you can say "big ****" on the radio. I think that's a no-no.
Robin: But I just said pussy.
Jackie: Yeah, she just said pussy.
Howard: Yes, pussy is OK. It's the way he says it. "Big ****" coming out of your mouth sounds awfully dirty.
Jackie: So I can't say "big ****," but you can say "big **** coming out of my mouth"?
Howard: That's correct.
Jackie: That sucks.
Fred: Did you just say, "big **** coming out of your mouth sucks"?
Howard: All right, enough of this nonsense. We gotta move to Miss Brett Somers.
Robin: Just like the boys, Gene, I've got ****.
Howard: There it is, ****-a-doo...do me a favor and hold that up so I can see your ****.
Jackie: Aw, Gene, don't have...
Howard: All right, there it is. ****, ****, ****. I must tell you, though, we have to end this fun right now.
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