Private Parts quotes

View Quote Howard: That is the first naked lady in the history of radio. Sans panties, sans bra.
Robin: I am shocked.
Howard: So am I. This is disgraceful. We should be taken off the air.
Robin: You've finally done it.
Howard: Ohh! Beautiful. You're a work of art. Did you know that?
Mandy: Thank you, Howard.
Howard: Let me tell you something. Now, to ensure our place in the history of radio, Mandy has agreed to actually get on the floor with me and give me a massage while she is nude.
Robin: What does a massage have to do with making it into history?
Howard: Who knows? I don't know. Massage, schmas. I just gotta get touched.

View Quote Howard: Let me soak you in. Holy cow, are you naked. You know what I like about you?
Mandy: What?
Howard: I like that you're the perfect height. I could have sex with you standing up. Look at that. Ooh.
Robin: Howard! You're married.
Howard: I am? I mean, I am. Well, I'm not really married anymore.
Mandy: What do you mean?
Howard: Take a seat. I'll tell you what happened. My wife was suffering from cancer...I never told you this...and she died last night. I've been single for exactly 24 hours. Honey, if you're up there now, I know you can hear me, and you're at God's side, but I want you to cover your ears and eyes. Besides, you're married to God now...

View Quote Howard: Let me ask you something. You have the look of love in your eyes, but I'm an ugly man. I know this. You couldn't be physically attracted to me, could you?
Mandy: Physically, I am. I mean, you're smart, you're sexy.
Howard: Wait. Excuse me for one minute. Robin...
Robin: I didn't say a thing.
Howard: Robin, go up to the cafeteria and get some lunch. Yeah, go ahead. Tell me more about me.
Mandy: You're funny.
Howard: You know what I would do to you physically?
Mandy: What would you do?
Howard: I don't know what I'd do, but let me just say something. Whatever it is, it would last 10 seconds. 10 seconds, I'd be finished. We would have sex, like, 10 times a day. You would love it.