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The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride quotes

105 total quotes

Buttercup
Count Rugen
Fezzik
Grandpa
Inigo Montoya
Multiple Characters
Prince Humperdinck
Vizzini
Westley




View Quote [The Man in Black has just challenged Vizzini to a battle of wits for the Princess, to the death.]
Man in Black: [hands a small tube to Vizzini] Inhale this, but do not touch.
Vizzini: [sniffs the tube] I smell nothing.
Man in Black: What you do not smell is called iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the deadliest poisons known to man.
Vizzini: [smirks] Hmm...
[The Man in Black takes the two wine goblets and turns away from Vizzini. He returns a moment later and, after shifting the goblets around quickly, sets them down in front of himself and Vizzini. Vizzini smirks again.]
Man in Black: Now, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right, and who is dead.
View Quote Westley: Where am I?
Albino: [whispering harshly] THE PIT OF DESPAIR! DON'T EVEN THINK— [clears his throat and proceeds in a normal voice.] Don't even think about trying to escape.
View Quote Grandfather: They rode to freedom. And as dawn arose, Westley and Buttercup knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. And as they reached for each other... [closes the book]
Grandson: What? What?
Grandfather: Nah, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.
Granson: I don't mind so much.
Grandfather: Okay. [opens the book again] Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. [closes the book] The End.
View Quote [As Inigo and Fezzik leave with the miracle pill]
Miracle Max: Have fun storming the castle!
Valerie: [aside, to Max] Do ya think it'll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle. [calling out] Bye bye!
View Quote [A rock smashes into a boulder just in front of the Man in Black]
Fezzik: [steps out from a set of boulders holding another rock] I did that on purpose. I don't have to miss.
Man in Black: I believe you. So what happens now?
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?
Fezzik: [holds up his rock] I could kill you now.
Man in Black: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
View Quote [Aboard Vizzini's boat.]
Inigo: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fezzik: Fuss... Fuss... I think he likes to scream at us.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no harm.
Fezzik: He's really very short on charm.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we'll all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: [screams in frustration]
View Quote Iocaine! I'd bet my life on it. And there are the Princess's footprints. She is alive ... or was, an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be very put out.
View Quote My people ... a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves. But perhaps you will not find her common now.
View Quote Vizzini: Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Princess, and must therefore die. [to Fezzik, pointing to Buttercup] You, carry her. [to Inigo] We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword.
Inigo Montoya: I want to duel him left-handed.
Vizzini: You know what a hurry we're in!
Inigo Montoya: Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right — tch — over too quickly.
Vizzini: Oh, have it your way.
Fezzik: You be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.
View Quote [The Man in Black has just performed an impressive dismount from a parallel bar.]
Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Man in Black: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know.
Man in Black: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: [shrugs] Okay. [resumes fighting]
View Quote You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you.
View Quote [The Man in Black causes Fezzik to fall unconscious.]
Man in Black: [checks to make sure Fezzik is still alive] I do not envy the headache you will have when you wake up. But in the meantime, sleep well, and dream of large women. [picks up his sword and continues pursuing Vizzini]
View Quote [Buttercup kisses the old, senile king on the cheek]
King: What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you've always been so kind to me. And I won't be seeing you again, since I'm killing myself once we reach the Honeymoon Suite.
King: [smiling] Won't that be nice? [calling out to the Queen] She kissed me!
View Quote [Inigo has been defeated in the duel]
Inigo Montoya: Kill me quickly.
Man in Black: I would as soon destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either... [thumps Inigo in the back of the head with the hilt of his sword, knocking him unconscious] Please understand, I hold you in the highest respect.
View Quote [in reference to the Machine] Beautiful, isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. At present I'm writing the definitive work on the subject. So I want you to be totally honest with me on how The Machine makes you feel.