The Princess Bride quotes

View Quote [when Humperdinck lets slip that he is sending all of his ships out to announce his imminent wedding] All except your four fastest, of course.

View Quote When I was your age, "television" was called "books".

View Quote Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.

View Quote [reading] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you."

View Quote Isn't that a wonderful beginning?

View Quote [after being asked to read the story again] As you wish.

View Quote Grandson: Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you tryin' to trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a kissing book?

View Quote Grandson: He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that.

View Quote Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

View Quote Impressive Clergyman: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove…Have you the wing?

View Quote Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?
Grandfather: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!
Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.
Grandfather: [sarcastically] Oh, well, thank you. That's very kind of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

View Quote Westley: Hear this now, I will always come for you.
Buttercup: But how can you be sure?
Westley: This is true love. You think this happens every day?

View Quote [Buttercup encounters Vizzini, Inigo and Fezzik standing by the side of a road.]
Vizzini: A word, m'lady? We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?
Buttercup: There is nothing nearby. Not for miles.
[Fezzik steps toward Buttercup]
Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream. [Fezzik renders Buttercup unconscious]

View Quote Inigo: What is that you're ripping?
Vizzini: It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder.
Fezzik: Who's Guilder?
Vizzini: The country across the sea. The sworn enemy of Florin. [slaps the horse's rump] Go! Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.
Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.
Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
Vizzini: Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips!? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass!
Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.
Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken! What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her! And remember this. Never forget this! [to Inigo] When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy! [to Fezzik] And you! Friendless. Brainless. Helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Greenland!?

View Quote [Aboard Vizzini's boat.]
Inigo: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fezzik: Fuss... Fuss... I think he likes to scream at us.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no harm.
Fezzik: He's really very short on charm.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we'll all be dead.
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: [screams in frustration]