Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest quotes

146 total quotes (ID: 450)

Bloopers
Captain Jack Sparrow
Davy Jones
Elizabeth Swann
Lord Cutler Beckett
Other
Will Turner


Gibbs: Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something more... shiny. What with the Isla de Muerta going all pear-shaped, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it.
Leech: And the Royal Navy chasing us all around the Atlantic.
Marty: And the Hurricane.
Gibbs: All in all, its been some time since we did a speck of honest piratin'.
Jack: Shiny?
Gibbs: Aye, shiny.
Jack: Is that how you're all feeling, then? That maybe old Jack is not serving your best interests as captain?
Cotton's Parrot: *Squawk* Walk the plank!
Jack: [pulls out gun and points it at the parrot.] WHAT DID THE BIRD SAY?!


Gibbs: What about Norrington?
Jack: He fell behind.
Gibbs: Our thoughts be with him. [pause] Well, best not wallow in our grief!

Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea.
Jack: Yes to the first and yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That's seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Jack: I have every faith in your reconcilliatory navigational skills, Master Gibbs. Now where is that monkey? I want to shoot something!

Jack Sparrow: Bootstrap? Bill Turner?
Bootstrap Bill: You look good, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: Is this a dream?
Bootstrap Bill: [confused] No.
Jack Sparrow: I thought not. If it was, there'd be rum. [Bootstrap holds up a bottle of rum for him.]
Bootstrap Bill: You got the Pearl back, I see.
Jack Sparrow: I had some help retrieving the Pearl, by the way. Your son.
Bootstrap Bill: William? He ended up a pirate after all.
Jack Sparrow: And to what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle?

Jack: How did you get here?
Will: Sea turtles, mate! A pair of 'em strapped to my feet!
Jack: Not so easy, is it?
Will: But I do owe you thanks Jack.
Jack: You do?
Will: After you tricked me on to that ship to square you're debt with Jones!
Elizabeth: What?
Jack: [Imitates Elizabeth] What?
Will: I was reunited with my father.
Jack: Oh, well... you're welcome then.

Jack: My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creatures informs me that you are troubled.
Elizabeth: I just thought 'd be married by now. 'm so ready to be married.
[Jack looks at her chest then hands her a bottle of rum]
Jack: You know, [clears throat] Lizzie, I am captain of a ship, and being captain of a ship I could in fact perform a marry-agh. Right here. Right on this deck. Right now.
Elizabeth: [Looks disgusted] No thank you.
Jack: Why not? We are very much alike, you and I, I and you, us.
Elizabeth: Except for a sense of honor, and decency, and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Jack: [Smells under arm] Trifles. You will come over to my side, I know it.
Elizabeth: You seem very certain.
Jack: One word love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day, you won't be able to resist.
Elizabeth: Why doesn't your compass work?
Jack:...My compass works fine.
Elizabeth: Because you and I are alike. And there will come a moment when you will show it. To do the right thing.
Jack: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
Elizabeth: You'll have the chance to do something, something courageous. And when you do you'll discover something. That you're a good man.
Jack: All evidence to the contrary.
Elizabeth: Oh, I have faith in you. You want to know why?
Jack: Do tell, dearie.
Elizabeth: Curiosity. You're going to want it. A chance to be admired, and gain the rewards that follow. You won't be able to resist. You're going to want to know what it tastes like. [Leans in close to him]
Jack: [Eyes widen] I do want to know what it tastes like.
Elizabeth: But, seeing as you're a good man I know that you'd never put me in a position that would compromise my honor.
Jack: [Leans in to kiss her; sees black spot reappear on his hand and pulls away]
Elizabeth: 'm proud of you, Jack.

Jack: Persuade me.
Elizabeth: You do know Will taught me how to handle a sword.
Jack: As I said, persuade me.
[Elizabeth nods and walks off. Jack watches her and makes a grunting noise]

Jack:(after seeing Norrington after he had be vomiting) You look bloody awful. What are you doing here?
Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack: [childish] You smell funny.

Jack: Abandon ship. Into the longboat.
Gibbs: Jack! The Pearl!
Jack: [sadly.] She's only a ship, mate.

Jack: No worries, mates. Tia Dalma and I go way back; Thick as thieves. Nigh unseperable we are... were... have been... before...
Gibbs: [going to see Tia Dalma.] I'll watch yer back.
Jack: It's me front I'm worried about...
Gibbs: [To Will.] Mind the boat.
Will: [To Pintel.] Mind the boat.
Pintel: [To Ragetti.] Mind the boat.
Ragetti: [To Marty.] Mind the boat.
Marty: [To Mr. Cotton and his parrot.] Mind the boat.
Cotton's Parrot: *Squawk* Mind the boat.
[Flies into Tia Dalma's shack, leaving Mr. Cotton to mind the boat.]

Jack: Now all that's left is to climb aboard Davy Jones's crocodile machine or whatever it's called. [to crew offscreen] What's the bloody thing called? Flying what..? Dutchman!
Jack: I shall help you find the compass if you'll do strange things to my dog. His name is Tim.
Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea.
Jack: Yes to the first and yes to the second but only insofar as we I'll just start that take again shall I?
Gibbs: Good idea.
Governor Swann: The charge is conspiring to set free a man convicted of... [sighs]
All: [complete silence]
Governor Swann: I can't read my own writing. Crimes, thank you very much.
Lord Cutler Beckett: The charge is conspiring to set free a man legally lawfully I'm sorry I'm slightly confused about what version we're doing. Shall I say it or does Jonathon say it?
Governor Swann: It's my line, dear.
Lord Cutler Beckett: Oh, sorry.
Governor Swann: [mouths] That's mine, bitch!
Jack: Are you certain? [loud creaking sound]..... [quietly] Sorry.
Jack: Why fight when you can negotiate? All one needs- [realizes a dreadlock is stuck in the jar of dirt] [Will cracks up laughing] Help?
Sailor: There is a female presence on board, sir. All the men have felt her- [rest of the crew crack up laughing] No, they haven't felt her...
Jack: Your recolciliatory reacaliotory relalaltrltyyua LA. There, I said it, I feel better for it.
Gibbs: Again! Again!
Lord Cutler Beckett: [having forgotten his line] [pauses, indicates Governor Swann] Kill him!
Tia Dalma: If you want to brave the weird, and haunted shores at World's End, then... [tries to move, realizes her dress is stuck on a table] I'm stuck, sorry.

Maccus: The boy's not there. He must've been claimed by the sea.
Davy Jones: I am the sea!

Mercer: The last of our ships has returned.
Beckett: Is there any news on the chest?
Mercer: None. But... one of the ships did pick up a man adrift at sea. He had these.
[Mercer drops the Letters of Marque on Beckett's desk.]
Norrington: I took the liberty of filling in my name.
Beckett: If you intend to claim these, then you must have something to trade. Do you have the Compass?
Norrington: Better. The heart of Davy Jones.

Needo: [head lying on the floor] Hay Needo, hay Needo, follow my voice [body gets up and runs around] to the left.. no, to the right [body runs into a tree] No, that's a tree.
Jack: Oh shut it!

Norrington: You haven't said where were going... somewhere nice?! (pushes Gibbs aside) So am I worthy to serve under Captain Jack Sparrow? Or I should just kill you now?
Jack: You're hired.