Captain Jack Sparrow quotes

Allow me to lend a machete to your intellectual thicket...

My peanut! (He just shot a hallucination of himself who was trying to eat a peanut, his first line in this movie.)

He needs the Pearl. Captain Turner needs the Pearl. [To Elizabeth] And you felt guilty. [To Barbossa] And you and your Brethren Court. Did no one come to save me just because they missed me? [Marty, then Ragetti, Pintel, and Jack the monkey raise their hands] I'm standing over there with them.

Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past. One of you succeeded. [After Will looks suspiciously at Elizabeth] Oh, she's not told you. You'll have loads to talk about while you're here.

[Summing up his crew whilst in the Locker; to Ragetti] Don't need you--you scare me. Mr. Gibbs, you can come, Marty--[sees Pintel] Eugh. Mr Cotton... Cotton's parrot, a lttle iffy, but at least I'll have someone to talk to.

We must fight... to run away.

You may kill me but you may never insult me! Who am I? [Beckett looks confused] ... (Disappointed) I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!

I rather like the sound of that...Captain Jack Sparrow, the last pirate.

I will not be going back to the Locker, mate. Count on that.

We are to assume that she is a woman scorned, like which fury hell hath no!

Up is down. Well that's just maddeningly unhelpful! Why are these things never clear? [hallucinated Jack] Clear as mud, Jackie. [Jack] What?! [hallucination] Stab the heart. [another hallucination on his left shoulder] Don't stab the heart! [Jack] Come again? [left Jack] The Dutchman must have a captain. [Jack] Well that's just more than less than unhelpful.

[To hallucinated Jack, a Dutchman crew member, Bootstrap Bill] Nobody move! Dropped me brain!

[To himself whilst in the Locker] [distressed] But why? Wh-why would he do that? [derisive] Well, because he's a lummox, isn't he? [lofty and snobbish] Well, we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited! [giggles]

Now we're being followed by rocks... never heard that one before.

[Pointing to the line "parlay" in the pirates code] Fancy that.

How's mum? [Teague holds up a shrunken head] ...She looks.... great!

[About the Black Pearl] Yes. there it is...Why's it there?

[About the Black Pearl] It's much bigger up close.

Well, that's even more than less than unhelpful.

[Surrounded by pirates pointing guns at him] Parlay?

[About Barbossa] Shoot him, then cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard.

[To his hallucinations of himself] I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness. [Swings off ship]

[Trying to escape the brig] Think like the whelp, think like the whelp, think like the whelp... Half-barrel hinges. Leverage!

Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent, and fierce, and huge-ish, and... gone..... why is it gone?!

[Voting for King of the Brethren court] ...Elizabeth Swann. [everyone looks at him in shock] I know, curious, isn't it?.

[After he learns Sao Feng made Elizabeth captain] They're just giving the bloody title away now!

[Elizabeth tries to kiss him] Once was quite enough.

[In reply to Barbossa's claim to have a ship, pointing to the Pearl] Can't spot it. It must be a tiny thing hiding somewhere behind the Pearl.

[While Giselle and Scarlett are argueing, Jack mad about his ship stolen again by Barbossa] Ladies, will you please shut it?! [Turning his head back and forth to Scarlett and Giselle as he speaks each sentence] Yes, I lied to you. No, I don't love you. Of course it makes you look fat! I've never been to Brussels. It is pronounced, "egregious." And by the way, no, I never actually met Pizzaro, but I love his pies. And all of this pales into utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is, once again, gone! Savvy?

I prefer rum. Rum is good.

[after flying from one ship to another and landing perfectly] And that was without even a single drop of rum.

[about Will] Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig.

[to Elizabeth's "This is madness"] This is politics.

[to a rock] Shoo.

[To his hallucinated selves] Wish us luck, boys. We'll need it.

Close your eyes and pretend it's all just a bad dream. That's how I get by.

[To one of Jones' crew] Oi. My pistol.

Cruel is a matter of perspective.

[to Barbossa] Whose boons? Your boons? Utterly deceptive twaddlespeak, says I. [Barbossa questions him] Cuttlefish. Let us not dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish.[He mumbles to another pirate] Flipping glorious little sausages. Pen them up together and they will devour each other without a single thought. Human nature, isn't it? nature. So, yes [Gesturing to Mistress Ching] we could stay here, well provisioned, well armed, and half of us will be dead within a month. Which sounds pretty grim any way you slice it. Or...we could, [Gesturing to Barbossa] as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso and pray she may be merciful...I rather doubt it. Can we pretend that she nothing more than a woman scorned like which fury hell hath no? We cannot! So, I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth...Captain Swann. We must fight.

The world is still the same...there's just less in it...

[To Cutler Becket] You can have Barbossa. The belligerent homonculus and his friend with the wooden eye, both. And Turner. Especially Turner.

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