Christina: How do you like my UFO?

Elke: He was always making money. He just had a knack for it. My little candy man.

Police Officer: [trying to pick Christina up] Let's go, sweetheart. You're a big girl.

James: I know what you need. A nice hot cup of hot chocolate.
Michael: Can you put some ecstasy in mine?

James: Michael, I hate you for making me say serious things so I will only say this once. You've gone too far with the drugs.
Michael: Have you looked in the mirror lately?

Keoki: Are we going far?
Michael: All the way I hope.

Michael: Angel bailed me out.
James: Angel?
Michael: Well, actually, Angel bailed you out.
James: Me?
Michael: Yeah, I told the police I was you.
[James gawks in disbelief]
Michael: Oh James, it's just all in fun. And after I told them you had AIDS, they gave me my own room with a VCR and ice cream!
James: Michael, I don't even like you! I have never liked you!

Michael: Hi. I'm Michael Alig.
James: Well I'll alert the media. Gotta dash!

Michael: Our magazine's on the stands today. Can you believe it? Our own magazine!
James: I've already seen it, and there's a problem. A big problem. I've been cut off. [reads from magazine page] "James St. James heads up white slave ring, sells twelve year old boys on Avenue B. Exclusive by Michael Alig." Why, Michael? Why?
Michael: Oh come on Skrink, I think it's funny!
James: My father does not share your sense of humor!
Michael: I didn't know he was a Project X reader!
James: Yes you did, because you sent him a lifetime subscription!

Michael: So, notice anything different?
James: [looks around] The flies?
Michael: No, seriously James. Anything or anyone missing? Like a drug dealer who used to live here?
James: Well darling that could be anyone. Can I buy a vowel?

Michael: So. How's the novel coming?
James: I've done another page! But now I think I might have writer's block.
Michael: Two pages in five years?

Michael: We're like two peas in a pod, you and I, James.
James: I pity the pod.
Michael: You're the Yoda to my Luke.
James: Excuse me. You're the Paula Abdul to my Janet Jackson.
Michael: That's good, right?

Talk Show Host: Is it true, ma'am, that your son Michael turned you on to the pill ecstasy?
Elke: He said it was a headache pill.
Talk Show Host: What happened when you took it?
Elke: My headache went away!

But it's my birthday and I want a bloodfeast!

Darling, half the fun of eating meat is hacking it up.