R.P. McMurphy quotes

She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen. She was very willing if ya know what I mean, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don't think it's crazy at all and I don't think you do either. No man alive could resist that, and that's why I got into jail to begin with. And now they're telling me I'm crazy over here because I don't sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Don't make a bit of sense to me. If that's what's being crazy is, then I'm senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, that's it.

I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science.

I'm here to cooperate with ya a hundred percent. A hundred percent. I'll be just right down the line with ya, you watch. 'Cause I think we ought to get to the bottom of R. P. McMurphy.

But I don't like the idea of taking something if I don't know what it is... I don't want anyone to try and slip me salt-peter. You know what I mean?

God Almighty, she's got you guys comin' or goin'. What do you think she is, some kind of a champ or somethin'?

I bet in one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she don't know whether to shit or wind her wristwatch.

Get out of my way son, you're usin' my oxygen.

Jesus Christ! D'you nuts wanna play cards or do ya wanna ****in' jerk off?

But I tried, didn't I? Goddamn it. At least I did that.

I wanna see the hands. Come on. Which one of you nuts has got any guts?

[to the charter boat manager] This is Dr. Cheswick, Dr. Taber, Dr. Frederickson, Dr. Scanlon, the famous Dr. Scanlon, Mr. Harding, Dr. Bibbit, Dr. Martini, and Dr. Sefelt... Oh, I'm Dr. McMurphy. R. P. McMurphy.

[to Martini] You're not an idiot. Huh! You're not a goddamn looney now, boy. You're a fisherman!

[pretending to watch the World Series on TV] Koufax... Koufax kicks. He delivers. It's up the middle! It's a base hit! Richardson is rounding first. He's going for second. The ball's into deep right center. Davis cuts the ball off! Here comes the throw. He throws it to second! He slides! He's in there! He's safe! It's a double.! Richardson's on second base! Koufax is in big ****ing trouble! Big trouble, baby! All right. Tresh is the next batter. Tresh looks in. Koufax... Koufax gets a sign from Roseboro. He kicks once. He pumps. He fires. It's a strike! Koufax's curve ball is snapping off like a ****ing firecracker! All right, here he comes with the next pitch. Tresh swings. It's a long fly ball to deep left center! [patients cheer] It's going! It's gone! Let's hear it! One way!

I like peanuts!

Someone get me a ****ing wiener before I die.

Who's the head bull-goose loony around here?

Why don't ya shut your goddamn mouth and play some music?

That's right, Mr. Martini. There is an Easter Bunny.

I'd like to know why none of the guys never told me that you, Miss Ratched, and the doctors could keep me here 'til you're good and ready to turn me loose. That's what I'd like to know.

[to Billy] You're just a young kid. What are you doin' here? You oughta be out in a convertible, why... bird-doggin' chicks and bangin' beaver. What are ya doin' here, for Christ's sake? What's funny about that? Jesus, I mean, you guys do nothin' but complain about how you can't stand it in this place here and then you haven't got the guts just to walk out!

How about it? You creeps, you lunatics, mental defectives? Let's hear it for Bull Goose Randall back in action... You ding-a-lings. The Mental Defective League, in formation.

They uh, was givin' me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot. The next woman who takes me out is gonna light up like a pinball machine, and pay off in silver dollars.

Jesus, I must be crazy to be in a loony-bin like this.

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