Multiple Characters quotes

Bernie: I'm sorry I am so late. Bollocksed up at work again, I fear. Millions down the drain.

Honey: Oh God, this is one of those key moments in life, when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool - and I'm failing 100%. I absolutely and totally and utterly adore you and I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world and more importantly I genuinely believe and have believed for some time now that we can be best friends. What do YOU think?

Jeff King: [to Will] Can you adios those dishes and take out that trash?

Max: James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.

William: [Spike is wearing Will's wetsuit] Can I ask you why you are wearing that?
Spike: Combination of factors. No clean clothes.
William: There never will be unless you actually clean your clothes.
Spike: Vicious cycle. And I was rooting around in your things and found this and thought groovy.

Spike: There's something wrong with this yogurt.
William: Ah, that's not yogurt, that's mayonnaise...
Spike: Ah, right-o then.
[continues to eat it]

William: I enjoyed the movie very much. I was just wondering, did you ever consider having more horses in it?
Anna: Well, we would have liked to. But it was difficult, obviously, being set in space.

William: Is this your first film?
12-yr-old Actress: Well... actually it's my 22nd!
William: Any favorites among the 22?
12-yr-old Actress: Working with Leonardo.
William: DaVinci?
12-yr-old Actress: DiCaprio.
William: Of course. And is... is he your favorite Italian director?

Writer: Oh, I see she took your grandmother's flowers.
William: Yeah... bitch.

William: Sorry about the "surreal but nice" comment.
Anna: Don't worry, I thought the whole apricot honey thing was the real low point.

William: Would you like a cup of tea before you go?
Anna: No.
William: Orange juice? No, probably not... something else cold? Coke? Water? Some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?
Anna: No.
William: Do you... always say no to everything?
Anna: [thinks] No.

William: Calm down, have a cup of tea.
Anna Scott: No! I don't want any goddamn tea!

Anna: You know what they say about men with big feet.
William: No, I don't, actually. What's that?
Anna Scott: Big feet... large shoes.

Anna: What is it about men and nudity? Particularly breasts? How can you be so interested in them?
William: Well...
Anna: I mean seriously: they're just breasts. Every second person has them. They're odd looking, they're for milk from your mother. What's all the fuss about?

Anna: What's so annoying is now I'm so totally fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
William: You have clauses in your contract?
Anna: Yeah. "you may show the dent at the top of the artist's buttocks, but neither cheek or if a stunt bottom is being used, artists must have full consultation".
William: You have a stunt bottom?
Anna: I could have a stunt bottom, yes.
William: Are people tempted to go for better bottoms than their own?
Anna: Well yeah, I would. This is important stuff.
William: Hell of a thing to put on your passport, Occupation "Mel Gibson's bottom".
Anna: Actually Mel does his own ass work. Well, why wouldn't he.

Anna: What do you think?
William: Gripping. It's not Jane Austen, it's not Henry James but it's gripping.
Anna: You think I should do Henry James?
William: I think you'd be wonderful in Henry James but this writer - writers, they're pretty good too.
Anna: You never get anyone in Wings of a Dove saying "inform the Pentagon we need Black Star cover."
William: And for me the book is the poorer for it.

Anna: Wait, what about me?
Max: Sorry, you think you deserve the brownie?
Anna: Well a shot at it at least huh?
William: Well, you'll have to fight me for it, this is a very good brownie.
Anna: I've been on a diet every day since I was nineteen, which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. I've had a series of not nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. Ah, and every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment. And it's taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this.
Honey: Really?
Anna: Really. (indicates nose and chin) And, one day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can't act and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.
Max: [long pause] Nah, nice try gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone.
William: Pathetic effort to hog the brownie.

Bernie: What's the pay like in movies? I mean. Last movie. How much did you get paid?
Anna: 15 million dollars.

Max: You haven't slept with her, have you?
William: That is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.
Max: "No comment" means "yes."
William: No it doesn't.
Max: Do you ever masturbate?
William: DEFINITELY no comment.
Max: You see? It means "yes."

Martin: Did you know, and this is pretty amazing, but I once saw Ringo Starr.
William: Where was that?
Martin: Kensington High Street. At least I think it was Ringo, um, it could have been that guy from Fiddler on the Roof. You know, Toppy.
William: Topol.
William: Yes... yes that's right, Topol.
William: Mmmhmmm. Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't- doesn't at all look like, uh, Topol.
Martin: Yes, but, he was- he was quite a long way away from me.
William: So it actually could've been neither of them.
Martin: Yes, I suppose, so.
William: It's not really a classic, anecdote, is it?
Martin: Not a classic, no.

Bella: Do you want to stay?
William: Why not? All that awaits me at home is a masturbating Welshman.

Keziah: No thanks, I'm a fruitarian.
Max: I didn't realize that.
William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

William: Whoopsidaisies!
Anna: What did you say?
William: Nothing.
Anna: Yes you did.
William: No I didn't.
Anna: You said "whoopsidaisies".
William: I don't think so. No one says "whoopsidaisies" do they? Unless they're...
Anna: There is no "unless." No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.
William: Exactly. Here we go again.
[He falls off the fence again]
William: Whoopsidaisies. It's a disease I've got. It's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections. It won't last long.

Anna: I can't believe you have that picture on your wall.
William: You like Chagall?
Anna: I do. It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky.
William: With a goat playing the violin.
Anna: Yes - happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat.

Anna: Rita Hayworth used to say, "They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me."
William: Who's Gilda?
Anna: Her most famous part. Men went to bed with the dream; they didn't like it when they would wake up with the reality. Do you feel that way?
William: You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been.

Anna: Oh really. So the entire British press got up this morning and said, I know where Anna Scott is, she's in that house with the blue door, in Notting Hill. And then you go out, in your god damn underwear.
Spike: [walks in] I went out in my God damn underwear too.

William: [Anna has left after the press showed up on the doorstep] Was it you?
Spike: I may have told a few people down at the pub.

Anna's Co-Star: God that's an enormous arse.
Anna: I'm not listening.
Anna's Co-Star: Not honestly, it's so sad, all those anorexic girls. She has enough to share around and still be big bottomed.
Anna: I would think looking at something that nice, you and your bony little excuse for an arse would be well advised to keep quiet.

William: Please, sod off.
Anna: Ok.
William: No, no, no! I thought you were someone else. I mean I thought you were Spike, but I'm thrilled you're not.

Anna: Busy tomorrow?
William: I thought you were leaving tomorrow?
Anna: I was.

William: I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are, my mother has trouble remembering my name.
Anna: I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Max: Let's face facts, this was always a no-win situation. Anna's a goddess, you know what happens to mortals who get involved with gods.
William: Buggered, is it?
Max: Every time.

Bernie: But she said she wanted to go out with you?
William: Yes - sort of...
Bernie: That's nice.
William: What?
Bernie: Well, you know, anybody saying they want to go out with you is... pretty great... isn't it...?
William: It was sort of sweet actually - I mean, I know she's an actress and all that, so she can deliver a line - but she said that she might be as famous as can be - but also... that she was just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. [pause] Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I?

Honey: William just turned down Anna Scott.
Spike: You daft prick.

P.R. Chief: Dominic... if you'd like to ask your question again?
Journalist: Yes. Anna, how long are you intending to stay here in Britain?
Anna: [pause] Indefinitely.

Anna: Can I stay for a while?
William: You can stay forever.

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