...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowlege, and a mulch...

Clark: Eddie, did anyone ever tell you, you're bad luck.
Eddie: You know, those were my mother's dying words. Course, when you're covered in third degree burns and your leg's caught in a bear trap, you're bound to say weird things.
Ellen: Clark. Are you feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?
Clark: Not right now, honey. They're teaching me baccarat.
Clark: Here, make the seats good.
[begins pouring coins into the Maitre d's hand]
Maitre d' : No...gratuity...necessary, sir. Right this way.
Jilly: Kid, you made me a lot of money tonight. Hey, you like gettin' massages?
Rusty: By who?
Jilly: [sarcastically] By who...by me. Meet me in the spa tomorrow at 10 o'clock.
Clark: You need any help with the grill, Eddie?
Eddie: No thanks, Clark. Don't have one. [throws chicken onto a rock]
Audrey: OK, what happened to you last night?
Rusty: [giggles]
[Audrey and Rusty sit down to breakfast]
Audrey: Coffee
Rusty: Me, too.
Ellen: Make it three.
Clark: [to waitress] Four coffees it is.
Clark: Kids!
Audrey: Daddy, don't shout.
Clark: What do you say we each have an 'alone day', where each of us can go out and explore the city of Las Vegas in their own way.
Ellen: Clark, I don't think that's such a good...
Rusty: Thanks
Audrey: See, ya.
Clark: Don't worry, honey. You're gonna love it. See ya.
Security: Have you seen a guy named Nick Papagiorgio?
Clark: Yes, he took my wallet. He's over there.
[at Club Areola]
'Security: Your usual table, Mr. Papagiorgio?
Rusty: Not today, Jimmy.
Clark: You're in big trouble, mister.
Ellen: Clark. Are we lost?
Rusty: Yeah, dad. What block are we on?
Clark: Very funny, Rus.
Rusty: I wanna gamble.
Clark: Russell. I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Gambling is a very serious business.

Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.

Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?

Clark, this is a family trip. Can you try to stay with the family.

Could be worse...you could be pregnant again.

Couldn't you just roll us around on the bed again.

Hard six coming out.

Hey, kids. Round-up time!

His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!

Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on mom!

Honey, these boys ain't much to look at, but, if you want a night away from your cat...

I love what you've done with the kitchenette.

I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car.

I'll have some of the yellow. And don't get cheap on me.