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National Lampoon's Vacation

National Lampoon's Vacation quotes

67 total quotes

Clark Griswold
Multiple Characters
Roy Walley




View Quote Ellen: Don't just blurt it out to Normie about Edna dying.
Clark: How about I ask him to play 20 Questions?
[Clark knocks on the front door of Normie's house and rings the doorbell, but no anwser]
Clark: Oh, for Christ sakes he isn't home.
Ellen: Maybe the neighbors know where he is.
Clark: The moron knows we're coming and he isn't home.
Ellen: Normie's always been flakey.
Clark: He's always been a jag-off.
Ellen: Watch your mouth!
View Quote [In Cousin Normy's backyard in the pouring rain]
Ellen: We can't leave Aunt Edna on the patio!
Clark: Would you prefer I slip her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?
View Quote Ellen: We're not really violent people. This is our first gun.
Clark: No, it isn't.
View Quote Lasky: That's not a real gun, is it Clark?
Clark: Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I.
Lasky: It's a BB gun!
Clark: Don't tempt me. I could poke an eye out with this thing.
Lasky: You couldn't even break the skin with that thing.
View Quote Lasky: Has your father ever killed anyone?
Rusty: Just a dog. Oh and my Aunt Edna.
Clark: Hey you can't prove that Russ.
View Quote Lasky: Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once.
Rusty: What happened?
Lasky: I threw up.
View Quote Clark: Roy; can I call you Roy? Have you even driven your whole family cross-country?
Roy Walley: Oh, hell yes. Once I drove all of them to Florida. The smell coming out of the back seat was terrible.
Clark: I know that smell, Roy; but what if you had driven all that way and Florida was closed?
Roy Walley: Closed? Uh, they don't close Florida.
...
Clark: I just want you to ask yourself one thing. If you were... if you were me, wouldn't you do the same thing for your children?
Roy Walley: No.