National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes

57 total quotes

Clark W. Griswold
Cousin Eddie
Others

View Quote Art: Hurry up, Clark. I'm freezing my baguettes off.

View Quote Audrey Griswold: Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?

View Quote Aunt Bethany: Is Rusty still in the navy?

View Quote Aunt Bethany: [after reaching the Griswolds' house] Is this the airport Clark?

View Quote Ellen Griswold: I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.

View Quote Ellen Griswold: Welcome to our home - what's left of it.

View Quote Mr. Shirley: [Picks up the phone receiver] Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.

View Quote Art: The little lights aren't twinkling.
Clark: I know Art. And thanks for noticing.

View Quote Audrey: Do you sleep with your brother? Do you know how sick and twisted that is?
Ellen: Well, I'm sleeping with your father. Don't be so dramatic.

View Quote Aunt Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
Clark Griswold: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.
Aunt Bethany: Don't throw me down the stairs, Clark.
Clark Griswold: I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany.

View Quote Aunt Bethany: What's that sound?
Uncle Lewis: You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

View Quote Clark Sr: (extreme close up) SQUUUIIIIRRRREEELLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

View Quote Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No shit.

View Quote Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.

View Quote Clark: Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on it's way in from New York City. [the kids sit up excitedly]
Eddie: [after a pause] You serious, Clark?