Brian quotes

Yes, it is a boring job. Bloody boring, actually. But all you can see is the tip of the iceberg, the present, the tedious here and now. What you're incapable of seeing is the rest of time, the rest of the iceberg, past and the future – my future – which is a very interesting place to be. The good thing about this job is that it gives me time and space to contemplate the future at my leisure, whilst the city sleeps, free from the cacophonous curiosity of the hoi polloi. So, you see, it's not a boring job. And I'm not boring either.

Sophie: So, are you Louise's boyfriend?
Johnny: No.
Sophie: Oh, right. What, you're just, like, a mate?
Johnny: Primate.
Sophie: You must be the missing link then.
Johnny: Yeah, that's me.
Sophie: You're not gonna tell me your name.
Johnny: No.
Sophie: I'm not gonna tell you mine neither.
Johnny: All right. We'll be strangers.

Louise: So what happened? Were you bored in Manchester?
Johnny: Was I bored? No, I wasn't ****in' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody – you're all so bored. You've 'ad nature explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've 'ad the living body explained to you, and you're bored with it. You've 'ad the universe explained to you, and you're bored with it. So now you just want cheap thrills and like plenty of 'em, and it dun matter 'ow tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new, as long as it's new, as long as it flashes and ****ing bleeps in forty different colours. Well, whatever else you can say about me, I'm not ****in' bored.

Johnny: Bonjour.
Brian: What's goin' on? What're you doin' 'ere?
Johnny: Well, you see. I was over 'ere [takes a step to the left], like this, but that didn't work for me, so I thought I'd try over here [steps back], but I don't think there's much future in this one either.

Louise: Well, I don't know if I want to get married, but I wouldn't say no to a proper relationship.
Sophie: What is a proper relationship?
Louise: Living with someone who talks to ya after they've bonked ya.

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