Johnny quotes

[repeated line] Are you with me?

It's funny being inside, innit? 'Cause when you are inside, you're still actually outside, aren't ya? And then you can say, when you're outside, you're inside, because you're always inside your head.

Do you think that the amoeba ever dreamed that it would evolve into the frog? Of course it didn't. And when that first frog shimmied out of the water and employed its vocal cords in order to attract a mate or to retard a predator, do you think that that frog ever imagined that that incipient croak would evolve into all the languages of the world, into all the literature of the world? Of course it ****ing didn't. And just as that froggy could never possibly have conceived of Shakespeare, so we can never possibly imagine our destiny.

You see, the thing is, Brian, that God is a hateful god. Must be, because if God is good, then why is there evil in the world? Why is there pain and hate and greed and war? Doesn't make sense. But if God is a nasty bastard, then you can say, "Why is there good in the world? Why is there love and hope and joy?" Well, let's face it. Good exists in order to be ****ed up by evil. The very existence of good enables evil to flourish. Therefore, God is bad. And it doesn't matter how many past or future existences you have, because they're all gonna be riddled with grief and anguish and sickness and death. You see, Brian, God doesn't love you. God despises you. So there's no hope, and mankind is just a component of the device by which the devil creates itself. Are you with me? You see, what I'm saying, basically, is... you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. And humanity is just a cracked egg. And the omelet stinks.

Do you think you can recapture your youth by ****in' it? You don't want to **** me, you'll catch something cruel.

  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the