Eddie quotes

Eddie: Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.

John Smith: She tried to kill me.

Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?

John Smith: [grabs a MP5] I'm going to borrow this.

Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.
Eddie: Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?

John Smith: [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop

Eddie: I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.

John Smith: [swallows and says louder] Laptop!

Eddie: OK. Laptop.
Eddie: [at the diner] Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Waitress: You guys want any dessert?

Eddie: What do ya have honey?

Eddie's Waitress: Ice cream...

Eddie: Ice cream?! That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?

Eddie's Waitress: Chocolate and Vanilla...

Eddie: I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be... a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae...

[winks to the waitress]

Eddie's Waitress: Could be arranged...

[walks off]

Eddie: Perfect...

[to John]

Eddie: Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass... d'ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Mom: Eddie?

Eddie: [Startled. ****s shotgun and shouts] Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!

Eddie's Mom: [pause] Never mind.

Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.

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