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Mr.

Mr. quotes

30 total quotes

Eddie
Jane Smith
John Smith
John and Jane Smith
Multiple Characters




View Quote We're going to have to re-do every conversation we've ever had.
View Quote ****ers get younger every year. [After beating up an agent who attempts to stop them from taking the mini van.]
View Quote I said, I said I saw your Dad on Fantasy Island!
View Quote [after shooting through a wall at John] Still alive, baby?
View Quote We re-did the house.
View Quote Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
View Quote To dodging bullets.
View Quote Any last words?
View Quote Have you been selling big guns to bad people?
View Quote I was never in the peace corps.
View Quote I don't understand the question. [When she and John are asked how often they have sex]
View Quote Marriage Counselor: How often do you have sex?

Jane Smith: I don't understand the question.
Girls walking by House: What's going on, Mrs. Smith?

Jane Smith: Garden party, girls.
Jane Smith: There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we *don't* say to each other. What's that called?

Marriage Counselor: Marriage.
Marriage Counselor: On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the happiness of your marriage?

Jane Smith: 8.

John Smith: Wait. Could you clarify? Is 10 the highest? 10 being perfectly happy and 1 being totally miserable or...

Marriage Counselor: Just respond instinctively.

John Smith: Ok. Ready?

Jane Smith, John Smith: 8.

John Smith: Come to Daddy.

Jane Smith: [after she bashes him with a teapot and headbutts him] Who's your Daddy now?
John Smith: Dance with me.

Jane Smith: You don't dance.

John Smith: It was just my cover, sweetheart.

Jane Smith: Was sloth part of it too?
John Smith: [at marriage counseling] Ask us the sex question.

Jane Smith: [whispers] John.

John Smith: [softly with his fingers out for ten] Ten.
John Smith: Hiya, stranger.

Jane Smith: Hiya back.

[John has just returned from shooting Lucky at the bar]

Jane Smith: Where've you been?

John Smith: I just went down to the sports bar. Put a little money on the game.

Jane Smith: How'd you do?

John Smith: I got Lucky.
John Smith: [both pointing guns at each other; John drops his] You want it? It's yours.

Jane Smith: Don't! C'mon! C'mon!
[about the new curtains Jane bought]

Jane Smith: If you don't like them we can take them back.

John Smith: All right, I don't like them.

Jane Smith: [pause] You'll get used to them.
Jane Smith: You ever have trouble sleeping after?

John Smith: No.

Jane Smith: Me neither.
Benjamin: [while being interrogated and tortured by John Smith] Can I have a soda or a juice or...

[Jane hits him with the telephone]

John Smith: Ok, that was a nice shot.
[first session with a marriage counselor]

John Smith: Ok, I'll go first. let me see... um... We don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years.

Jane Smith: Six.

John Smith: [chastened] Five, six years.
Jane Smith: [referring to the pursuing cars] They're bulletproof!

John Smith: [having not heard and shot at the cars] They're bulletproof!
[Jane rolls her eyes]

John Smith: How many? Ok... I'll go first, then. I don't keep exact count, but I'd say, uh, high 50s, low 60s. I mean, I know I've been around the block an all, but...

Jane Smith: 312.

John Smith: What? How?

Jane Smith: Some were two at a time.

(Comparing body-counts, or possibly affairs.)
John Smith: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before.

(Jane slams on the brakes)

John Smith: Ow! Are you insane? What's wrong with you!?

Jane Smith: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me!

John Smith: It was a drunken Vegas thing.

Jane Smith: Oh, that's better! That's *much* better!

(pause)

Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?

John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.
Jane Smith: My parents died when I was five. I'm an orphan.

John Smith: Who was that kind fellow who gave you away at our wedding?

Jane Smith: Paid actor.

John Smith: I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!
Jane Smith: I know.
John Smith: You know I don't even want to talk about it!
Jane Smith: Wait, why do I get the girl gun?

John Smith: Are you kidding me?
John Smith: That's the second time you've tried to kill me today.

Jane Smith: Oh, come on, it was just a little bomb.
John Smith: I never went to MIT. Notre Dame. Art history major.

Jane Smith: Art?

John Smith: History! It's reputable.
John Smith: I realise you witnessed the missus and I working through a few domestic issues. That's regrettable but don't take that to be a sign of weakness, that would be a mistake on your part.

[Jane is drumming her fingers impatiently]

John Smith: Honey!

Jane Smith: Wrap it up.

John Smith: Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage - sends a mixed message.

Jane Smith: Sorry.

John Smith: Girls. Where was I?

Benjamin: Mistake on your part.

John Smith: Shut up.
John Smith: Did you hear the helicopter dropping me off that night for our anniversary dinner?

Jane Smith: No. Oh, percussion grenades. I was partially deaf that evening.
John Smith: What's new?

Eddie: Same old, same old. People need killing.
John Smith: Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.

Jane Smith: Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.
Jane Smith: You were bait.

Benjamin: In a manner of speaking.

Jane Smith: *Were* bait or *are* bait?
John Smith: [Refering to the picture Benjamin has of John and Jane] You get rid of it, you burn it! Tradecraft 101!

Benjamin: Oh. Sorry, I guess I missed that day. Just like you missed the day of don't marry the enemy.
Lucky: What? You're looking for a job or something?

John Smith: You are the job.

[John kills everybody in the room]

John Smith: [looking at the cards at the table] Pair of threes.
(comparing injuries)

John Smith: I'm slightly colorblind. Retinal scarring.

John Smith: Three ribs. Broken eye socket. Perforated eardrum.

Jane Smith: I can't feel anything in these three fingers.
John Smith: [talking about their predicament while in a nice restaurant] So what do we do, Jane? Shoot it out here? Hope for the best?

Jane Smith: Well, that would be bad because they would probably ask me to leave once you are dead.

Jane Smith: [dancing with John, he's just finished searching her for weapons] Satisfied?

John Smith: Not for years.
Jane Smith: I thought I told you not to bother me at the office, honey.

John Smith: Well, you are still Mrs. Smith.

Jane Smith: Well, so are a lot of girls.
John Smith: That left of yours is a thing of beauty.

Jane Smith: Mmm. You take it well.
View Quote Eddie: Tempting but I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars.
Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.

John Smith: She tried to kill me.

Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?

John Smith: [grabs a MP5] I'm going to borrow this.

Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.
Eddie: Did you get any other details on her besides her weight class?

John Smith: [mumbles while chewing food] Laptop

Eddie: I'm sorry? You're in the whole zone right now- I'm having a hard time talkin' to ya.

John Smith: [swallows and says louder] Laptop!

Eddie: OK. Laptop.
Eddie: [at the diner] Well this shouldn't be that difficult, I mean how many chicks are hitters out there? Ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Waitress: You guys want any dessert?

Eddie: What do ya have honey?

Eddie's Waitress: Ice cream...

Eddie: Ice cream?! That sounds delicious, what flavors d'ya have?

Eddie's Waitress: Chocolate and Vanilla...

Eddie: I don't like either of those, separately, but maybe mixed together, that could be... a nice lil dish, you know what I mean? And not just a little pink spoon, a like the whole sundae...

[winks to the waitress]

Eddie's Waitress: Could be arranged...

[walks off]

Eddie: Perfect...

[to John]

Eddie: Could be arranged, d'ya hear that? Like to have her kick my ass... d'ya know what I mean?
Eddie's Mom: Eddie?

Eddie: [Startled. ****s shotgun and shouts] Mom! We are on high alert here. I almost killed you right then! You do not even realize!

Eddie's Mom: [pause] Never mind.

Eddie: I live with my mom because I choose to. She's the only woman I've ever trusted.
View Quote What? Your husband is the shooter? That's impossible. ~Jasmine
View Quote [Jane Smith looks at Julie, shocked, after Julie detonates the explosive in the elevator John is in]

Jane: [bewilderedly]What the hell was that?
Julie - Associate #1: [casually] What? You said goodbye.