Roger the Shrubber quotes

King Arthur: Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy a shrubbery?
[dramatic chord]
Old Crone: Who sent you?
Arthur: The Knights Who Say Ni.
Crone: Ah! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here.
Arthur: If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say--we will say--"ni".
Crone: Ah! Do your worst!
Arthur: Very well! If you will not assist us voluntarily, "ni"!
Crone: No! Never! No shrubberies!
Arthur: Ni!
Sir Belvedere: No! No!
Arthur: No, no, no, no, it's not that, it's "ni".
Belvedere: No!
Arthur: No, no, "ni". You're not doing it properly.
Belvedere: No! Ni!
Arthur: That's it, that's it, you've got it.
Arthur, Belvedere: Ni! Ni!
Roger: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Er, yes.
Roger: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
[slight pause]
Sir Belvedere: Ni!
King Arthur: [stops him] No! No, no, no! No!

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