Meet the Parents

Meet the Parents quotes

43 total quotes (ID: 779)

Gaylord 'Greg' Focker
Jack Byrnes
Pam Byrnes


Pam: Greg, sweetie, how you doing?
Greg: Oh, just fine, considering I desecrated your grandma's remains, found out you were engaged and had your father ask me to milk him. At least back then he was still talking to me. I can't believe you didn't tell me you were that close.
Pam: Who, Daddy and me?
Greg: No, Kevin and you.
Pam: Do we have to know everything about each other's pasts? You never told me about your cat-milking days in Motown.
Greg': That was a long time ago, Pam.
Pam: Yeah, okay, well, so was this. Kevin's and my connection was more physical than anything else.
Greg: Physical? Like what? Like you worked out together?
Pam: No, no, it was nothing, nothing. It was a stupid sexual thing.
Greg: Mm-hmm. I'm gonna go throw up now.


[About Mr. Jinx, the cat] You tried to milk him, didn't you you sick son of a bitch?

Pam: You are the most adorable, loving, sweetest man in the whole world, and I love you. And very soon my parents are gonna see that...and grow to love you too, okay?
Greg: Okay. Speaking of growing to love you--
Pam: Honey, it's late. Come on.
Greg: I know it's late. But Mr. Winky is still on Chicago time, and we both know there's only one way to make Mr. Winky go away. [Knocking] And there it is.

Pam: Jesus, Dad, you ever think of knocking?
Jack: Not in my own den. What are you two doing in here?
Larry: I'd say rounding second base.

Jesus, Focker. It's just a game.

I'd better get upstairs...and pay a little visit to the shower fairy.

Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security.

Pam: I love you Dad, but you could be a real jerk sometimes. [storms out of room]
Jack: [to Dina] So what if he passed some test? He's still not good for Pam!
Dina: Well who is, Jack? No one has ever been good enough for your Pam. You only warmed up to Kevin after she broke up with him.

[After Greg claims he milked a cat and could milk anything with nipples] I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?

Sorry, folks. Had to pay a little visit to the urinal fairy.

[During the cellar interrogation scene] Have you ever watched...pornographic...videos?

[Greg's forgotten to change his shoes before meeting Pam] That's okay, honey. You know I can't resist a man in nurse's shoes.

[about the lost Jinx] We're supposed to let him wander the streets without food, water or toilet?