Tripper Harrison quotes

[to Rudy] You must be the short depressed kid we ordered. Glad you made it.

[to the C.I.T.'s as he tears up the camp rules] These are the camp rules. Morty would like you all to take a look at these. They'll be in here if you want to check them out a little bit later.

[on loudspeaker] Attention campers, afternoon swim schedule is as follows. Advanced dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and I.Q. testing. All senior silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. All junior salmon, trout, and herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. And 6-year-old tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all lobsters, GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE A MENACE!

[on loudspeaker] Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed "some kind of beef." Congradulations, Jeffery. You've just won a brand new Chrylser Cordoba and you can pick it up at Morty's office.

[on loudspeaker] Attention all campers, it's 9:30... and that's lights-out time here at Camp Northstar, 9:30 as you know. Tomorrow is parents day, and you must look rested or Morty will be sent to the state penitentiary.

Ok, the zone's not working. They're a little too big to play man-to-man. And we can't shoot for shit.

[driving the bus on a getaway from the intercamp basketball game where they escaped after not winning but humiliating the other team by pulling their shorts down] This is the proudest moment in North Star history!

[entering party] Alright, virgins to the left, non-virgins to the right. [to Crocket and Wheels] You guys split 'em up however you want.

[on loudspeaker] Important announcement - Some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge trail and the fish and game commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three. So, if you're hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low.

Kids are starving in China and you're walking around with a sombrero full of peanuts.

Mmmmm. Look at all those steaming wieners. Do you know what they're saying? They're saying, "This is the year that Fink beats 'The Stomach'." [Fink picks up a hot dog and holds it to his ear] No, it's a couple of them over here... but they're saying it.

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