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Mean Machine

Mean Machine quotes

38 total quotes

Danny Meehan
Doc
Massive
Mr Burton




View Quote Nitro: Hello Danny boy.
Danny Meehan: Nitro.
Nitro: I've been wondering, you need a manager. You know..the tactics and all that. Well, I am the business.
Danny Meehan: Massive's manager.
Nitro: Yeah, I know, but I'm better than him because I had trials, didn't I.
Massive: We all had trials,mate. That's why we're here.
View Quote Sykes: What money?
Danny Meehan: You're a betting man. We'll make a deal. Let your lads play. Win or lose, you call the result. Bet accordingly.
Sykes: Back to your fixing the match routine, right? Now listen, it's like this - I'd never take a bet against England, and I wouldn't bet the screws against the cons. Capisce?
Danny Meehan: Then we can play to win. Would you think about it?
Sykes: Yes, I'll think about it. But right now, I'm thinking you're polluting my air. Now go away.
View Quote Danny Meehan: Okay, positions. I play centre midfield. Let's have all midfield players behind me, defenders to me left, strikers to me right. Come on, lads, come on.
[All go to his right]
Danny Meehan:[pause] Terrific, let's move on.
View Quote Danny Meehan: OK fellas, now, the key to set pieces is concentration, calculation, teamwork. With corners it's about movement, drawing defenders out of position. When it comes to defending,it's about tackling, finesse, calculation. Remember these simple rules, and we're in with a chance. Any questions?
[All look worn-out]
Doc: Lovely story.
Danny Meehan: Yeah
View Quote Danny Meehan: Hello Mr Monk. Can you play football?
Monk: Aye.
Danny Meehan: Good. Would you like to play with us?
Monk: Nah.
Danny Meehan: We're playing the guards.
Monk:[pause]Aye, then I'm with you.
Chiv: Sound.
View Quote Bob Likely: Good afternoon, I'm Bob Likely. You join us live from the recreation field.
Bob Carter: I'm Bob Carter, and thanks again to our esteemed governor...
[Both muffle the microphones with their hands]
Both:[Whispering] Wanker
Bob Carter: ...for providing the splendid facilities that are here today as part of his rehabilitation campaign.
View Quote [Danny Meehan is about to take a free kick in front of a wall - the ball is kicked straight to Mr Ratchett's private part]
Bob Likely: Ooh! Right in his carrots and onions!
Bob Carter: No nookie for Mr Ratchett.
Bob Likely: No nookie for Mrs Ratchett neither.
View Quote [After learning Mr Ratchett has been kicked twice in the same area]
Bob Carter: Just goes to show lightning can strike twice.
Bob Likely: Abso-****ing-lutely, Bob.