Mean Machine quotes

View Quote Mr Ratchett, Sir. Whilst I don't wish to be rude, I do believe that you watched too many Tarzan films as an impressionable child.

View Quote [Watching The Monk practise Karate]
Doc: Apparently he killed 23 men with his bare hands.
Danny Meehan: Maybe I should take up Karate.
Doc: That was before he took up Karate.

View Quote Doc: Where's your manners Danny what would your old mum say?
Danny Meehan: [smiles] **** me.
Doc: Wish I'd met her.

View Quote Trojan: All right, Raj. You be black.[in a game of chess]
Raj: No, I'll be white.
Trojan: Just chill. You got a black nose.
Raj: You saying I'm black? That makes me the first Iranian from Babylon.

View Quote Massive:[Introducting himself] Massive is your man!
Danny Meehan: Massive?
Massive: It's ironic!

View Quote Sykes: Well get it sorted, 'cause this lad has a bad habit of turning cash flow problems into blood flow problems.

View Quote Sykes:[To Meehan] So my arse is on the line. And by my arse, I mean your arse.

View Quote [Prison guard to Secretary]:Hayter: I wouldn't get too close, Miss.
[Secretary to Danny]
Tracey: Why? You're not dangerous. Are you, Mr footballer?
[Meehan to Secretary]
Danny Meehan: Only if you've got the ball, Miss.

View Quote Danny Meehan: I'll tell you something. I didn't start off out as a youngster looking to sell my country out.
Massive: None of us planned to be here, mate.
Chiv: But you're forgetting something. You were a hero in Scotland.

View Quote Danny Meehan: Oh right lads, you wanna be nothing, prisoners... numbers... that's fine. But you win out there today and you'll have something to remember forever, talk about it over and over, because up and down the country there are cons that are pig sick of not being here in your shoes... just to have one crack at those bas**** next door!
Danny Meehan: Run your guts out, and you'll have somethin' in 'ere. :[points towards heart]
Danny Meehan: They can never touch, no parole boards, judges or nutcase governors... NOW... ask yourselves one question... ARE YOU READY?
[team replies light-heartedly]
Danny Meehan: ...YEAH, ARE WE?
[team replies whole heartedly]
Danny Meehan:...YEAH! THEN, COME ON!

View Quote [Referring to a clipboard Massive is holding]
Danny Meehan: What's that?
Massive: I'm your manager.
Danny Meehan: Since when?
Trojan: Look, don't bother giving me no orders, yeah?
Massive: Look, stop bitching, bitch.

View Quote Mr Ratchett: Got you an apprentice. He used to be a sweeper.
Doc: Comedian.

View Quote Governor: What do you think of amateur football?
Danny Meehan: It's amateur.

View Quote Billy the Limpet: I loved your work, man.
Danny Meehan: Sorry?
Billy the Limpet: I never believed any of the talk. I can't believe it. Here you are. :[takes off his sweater and shows his England jersey with "Meehan" at the back]
Danny Meehan: Cheers.[keeps his distance]
Billy the Limpet: Then you can teach me. Will you teach me, yeah?
Danny Meehan: Teach you what? :[obviously distracted]
Billy the Limpet: All that you know, all them soccer skills. All that. :[shows off his bad football moves]
Danny Meehan: Sorry, mate. Do what?
Billy the Limpet: You know, like the pro's, all that caper. Yeah?
Danny Meehan: I gotta go, but we'll stick a pin in it, all right?[walks away]
Billy the Limpet: Yeah, lovely. We'll stick a pin in it. Lovely.
Doc: Fan club.
Danny Meehan: Bloody stalker.

View Quote Mr Burton: Looking forward to a thrashing?
Danny Meehan: If it means getting out of here early, I'll take another beating from you or anyone.
Mr Burton: Who said anything about beating? I'm talking about the match.
Danny Meehan: Come on! I've seen your lot in action.