Mean Girls

Mean Girls quotes

179 total quotes (ID: 381)

Burn Book
Cady
Damian
External links:
Gretchen
Janis
Karen
Kevin Gnapoor
Mr. Duvall
Mrs. George
Multiple Characters
Regina


Soooo....what is up? Whats the 411? What has everybody been up to? What's the hot gossip? Tell me everything. What have you guys been listening to? What are the cool jams?


Jason: Is your muffin buttered?
Cady: What?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeaze?
Jason: I'm just being friendly.
Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!
Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?
Cady: No, thank you.
Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.
Jason: [whispers] Bitch...

Crying Girl: [reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
[about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...

Regina George, She is the nastiest skank bitch I have ever met. Do not trust her, she is a fugly slut.

[standing in front of chalkboard, holding a pointer] Regina George is an evil dictator. How do you overthrow an evil dictator? You take away her resources. She would be nothing without her high-status man-candy [points to first line on chalkboard, which reads Aaron Samuels], technically good physique, [points to second line: "Hot" body], and evil band of loyal followers [points to third line: Army of Skanks].

Cady: Oh, God...
Janis: You dirty little liar!
Cady: I'm sorry, I can explain.
Janis: Explain what? How you forgot to invite us to your "cool party"?
Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
Cady: You know I couldn't invite you! I had to pretend to be plastic!
Janis: But you're not pretending anymore! You're plastic! Cold, shiny, hard plastic!
Damian: Curfew, 1 a.m., it is now 1:10.
Janis: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and just sit around and soak up each others' awesomeness?
Cady: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your eighth grade revenge!
Janis: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! But you try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
Cady: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
Janis: What?
Damian [abruptly stops the car]: Oh no she did not!
Janis: See, that's the thing with you Plastics, you think everyone's in love with you, but in realitly, everyone *hates* you, like Aaron Samuels for example! He broke up with Regina and guess what, he still doesn't want you, Cady! So why are you still messing with Regina? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl, you're a bitch! Here, you can have this, it won a prize.
[Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window]
Damian: And I want my pink shirt back! I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!

Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: Yes.
Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
Regina: So...?
Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can't sit with us!
Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.
Regina: [after being ignored] Fine. You can walk home, bitches!

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.

Cady: Hey!
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous. But then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?". And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?". So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like "Janis, I can't invite you because I think you're a lesbian". I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.

Trang Pak is a grotsky little biatch...Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr.

Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything.
Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?
Cady: No no no... Anything else?
Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.

Why do you wear your hair like that? Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?

Ms. Norbury: Well, this has been sufficiently awkward...
Aaron Samuels: Your face smells like peppermint!
Emma Gerber: Watch where you're going fat-ass!
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. Amen.
Jessica Lopez: I don't hate you 'cause you're fat... you're fat 'cause I hate you. [dives backwards in her wheelchair into the crowd of girls]
Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?
Coach Carr: Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't do it in the missionary position, don't do it standing up. Just don't do it. Promise? Okay everybody grab some rubbers!
Michigan Girl: Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.
Crying Girl: [Crying] I wish we were all happy like we used to be in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.(Damian: She doesn't even go here! Ms. Norbury: Do you even go this school?) No...I just have a lot of feelings...
Amber D'Alessio: [reads Burn Book paper] Made out with a hotdog? Oh my God, that was one time!
Homeschooled Girl: X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P...XYLOCARP
Ms. Norbury: The only guy who calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa.

Bethany Byrd: Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons... but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!
Mr. Duvall: ... yeah, I can't do this.

Bethany Byrd has an amazing ability to supress her gag reflex. Uses super jumbo tampons....slut.